Four - Two

Yeah, it’s my birthday.  Well, Sunday is my birthday, but I thought I would put this up since I haven’t posted in like five years.  Okay, so it’s been five days, but that’s pretty much the same as five blog years. 

I don’t have anything really deep or insightful to post about my birthday.  Forty-two is a pretty boring age.  Nothing spectacular going on.  It’s a long ways until the next significant birthday which is … gasp! … FIFTY!

No, forty-two is just another routine angry, bitter age.  Just a bacon bit on the birthday salad bar.  It’s a completely insignificant age.  It only exists to remind me that I’m now two years past forty and still completely and totally unaccomplished.  Just another year past what was probably the half-way point.  Not only have I lived more years than I have left to live, but that “have left to live” number has just gotten smaller again. 

But, there’s nothing that can be done about it I guess.  Can’t stop time from marching on.  So I guess I’ll just have to accept it.

My plans for my birthday are pretty much as unremarkable as the age of fort-two itself.  I’ll just be snorting Oxy Contin and banging underage hookers like I do every Sunday night hanging out on Twitter as usual.  And probably watch a Gossip Girl marathon online something manly like an NBA game or four.  I will be going to Walmart to pick up a birthday cake.  As you know, my lent agreement with Jesus allows for me to take my birthday off.  So, that will work out pretty good.

Also, my sister and brother in law will be in town for a while Sunday night.  Not sure when they are getting here.  They’re basically just passing through and only staying the night.  But, it will be nice to see them even for a little bit.  They’re leaving for Scotland on the 10th.  Luckily I’m not jealous at all about that.

Oh, I do have a plan for one thing on my birthday though.  I’m going to be Tweeting celebrities all day telling them that it’s my birthday and trying to get them to wish me a happy birthday.  I’ll let you know how that works out. 

Which reminds me.  Neither Anna Sidorova nor Ludmila Privivkova have added me as a friend on Facebook yet.  This is deeply hurtful.  I’m trying to stay positive on this front, but it’s becoming increasingly difficult to do.  So, if there is anyone out there, maybe in Russia, who happens to know either Anna or Ludmila, would you please ask them to go ahead and accept my friend request?  I would appreciate it greatly.  That would be a pretty awesome birthday present right there. 

If you can’t accomplish that you could just stuff Alessandra Torresani in a box and FedEx her to me…


Don’t forget to poke some holes in the box though. 


Also thanks to Matt-Man for his very hot and sexy disturbing happy birthday video.

And to Vinny Bond for the naked birthday chick.

And to Desert Songbird and Micky-T for their birthday shout-outs.