Okay, in Arkansas...The Arkansas River can rise no higher than to the Main Street bridge in Little Rock. Okay, well I definitely think this is a good idea - sounds like they are taking their flood control seriously. But, it also wins them the Most Arrogant State Award [thus far.] Putting laws into place to control what? The river? The rain? The Gods of weather? Yeah, good luck with that.
A law provides that school teachers who bob their hair will not get a raise. Sounds like Warren Jeffs is one of them there law makers. What's wrong with bobbed hair??? That squeaky clean, controlled, uptight, little-girl-hair-do-on-a-grown-up just too damn wild fer yer yungins?
A man can legally beat his wife, but not more than once a month. Well, sure. More than once a month would just be exhausting. If you don't conserve your energy, you'll never get around to raping your cousin. Can't have that.
Oral sex is considered to be sodomy. But it's not. Well... unless it is. Maybe Kleatus ain't too educated on anatomy and what goes where. I guess with enough moonshine in his belly one never knows where his wife beatin' tongue might end up. This one is totally bugging me because, seriously, it's not.
Alligators may not be kept in bathtubs. Kill joy.
No one may “suddenly start or stop" their car at a McDonald’s. Well, sure. That would just throw the universe into a tail spin and we would never again know how many have been served. Seriously?
Dogs may not bark after 6 PM. Again, gotta love them thinking they can put laws in place to control the uncontrollable. How the hell is this one enforced???
Flirtation between men and women on the streets of Little Rock may result in a 30-day jail term. Wow - fun place to live. Except... we know what flirting leads to. Maybe Kleatus isn't the only one who doesn't know what goes where. In public. Maybe these folks know what they're doing with this one.
It is unlawful to walk one’s cow down Main Street after 1:00 PM on Sunday. Okay, I get it. This one totally explains the law against flirting. I think that there is more going on there in Arkansas than meets the eye. And I'm thinking that maybe the livestock do deserve a break for a few hours once a week. And I'm thinking I never want to go to Arkansas. Ever.
Lame laws. Not a single one involving a Moose. Alaska is still the winner.
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