Fun Times On The Golf Course ....

So, yesterday Mike had a pretty funny story about a friend of his having a tough day on the golf course.  I told him that he inspired me to tell a few of my golfing stories.  So, I will.

As I have mentioned here a few times I used to play a lot of golf.  And, I was actually pretty decent, if I do say so myself.  Not “go pro” good, but still an above average player who hit the ball really well and could play a lot of different shots.  But, sometimes weird things happen in golf.  So, I thought I would tell you about some of those weird things today.

- At the State Amateur there was a hole that was about 430 yards that ran along a road.  The fence was out of bounds.  I hit my drive onto the road. It bounced and kicked and skipped along until it hit a rock and shot back towards the fence.  When we got down there to the ball it was about 6 inches inside the fence in play only about 20 yards from the green.  I promptly dumped my chip shot into the sand trap and make double-bogey six anyway.

- In high school a friend of mine, we’ll call him “Ricky” cause that was his name, got a brand new Trans Am for graduation.  He parked in his usual spot and we played golf.  The ninth hole was a par three that brought us back to the club house.  Ricky pulled his tee shot hard to the left and it was sailing right at his new car.  He began screaming “NOOOOO!”  The ball landed a few feet in front of bounced right onto the hood of his car and skipped over roof.  Minimal damage which was good cause the rest of us were laughing so hard we were crying.

- A guy we’ll call “Fred” was teeing off from the first hole.  After talking big about how he was going to beat everybody and take their money he hit his drive off the heel of the club.  It shot straight left and hit the back of the ramp that went to the ladies room.  The ball bounced off the ramp and right back at Fred who had to dive for cover. 

- I was playing in a golf tournament in Charthage, MO and there was a pretty good crowd around the first tee watching everyone tee off.  After going through my usual pre-shot routine I unloaded on a drive.  It sounded like a cannon going off.  But, there was an immediate “thwack” sound. 

The ball had hit a limb hanging from a tree just to the right and in front of the tee box. The ball shot straight up in the air and then hit the (or a) limb again on the way down and bounced back onto the front of the tee box about 20 feet in front of me. 

I heard several gasps in the crowd and one “Well, I’ve never seen that happen before.”

- When playing a high school tournament in Mt. Home, AR once, one of the holes had an elevated tee that you had to climb stairs to get to.  Someone noticed a snake near the tee and went over and killed it.  After we teed off, he went back and picked up the snake and laid it across the tee for the next group to find. 

When we got to the green we looked back and saw four guys standing on the stairs of that tee box throwing tees and golf balls at the snake to see if it was still alive.

- Once while playing (badly) in Rogers, AR I hit a drive that sliced over towards one of the houses across the road that ran along the course.  Everyone cringed and waited for the sound of glass breaking.  Apparently the ball hit the side of the house or something in the garage because it made a really loud bang.  Then the ball came bounding back down the driveway towards the road.  I thought it might make its way all the way back on the course.

But, just as the ball got to the road, the family’s dog, a basset hound, came sprinting out of the garage chasing after the ball.  The dog picked up the ball in his mouth, turned around and ran back into the garage with it.  Never to be seen again.

- Another friend “SJ” hit a ball into someone’s yard once.  The homeowner was outside weed eating along the fence.  SJ said “Excuse me, I think I hit my ball into your yard.” The man stopped the weed eater, looked over his fence and said “Yup, it’s there.”  He then started his weed eater back up and went back to his yard work without saying another word.  So, we just moved along.


Okay, I’ll end there so this doesn’t get too long.  But, I will say that yesterday morning I saw this headline online:

“Tiger’s swing coach resigns.”

Yeah, a “swing coach” for someone with anywhere from 13 to 121 mistresses.  I admit it. My inner 13 year old laughed at that headline.  A lot.