Good Love Gone Bad ...

I have had a long love affair with Pepsi. And for the longest time Pepsi loved me back. But, over the last few years, Pepsi's love for me has faded. In fact, it's turned kind of mean. As much as I still love Pepsi, I just have to give it up completely. Mainly because Pepsi has not only stopped loving me back, but she's turned into a really vindictive bitch.

Okay, so maybe it's not the Pepsi. It's actually the caffeine. I have an adverse reaction to too much caffeine.

But, the problem is that I'm so addicted to Pepsi that I keep trying to go back to my sugary seductress. See, I can't just grab a nice 12 ounce can of Pepsi goodness and be happy with it for a while. I have to get the 20 ounce bottle. Then after I have that one, I want more. And more and more and more. Next thing I know I've had a couple of 20 ounce Pepsis every single day for a week.

Then that caffeine monster comes back. So, once again I find myself having to break up with the love of my life.

And since I can't have Pepsi, I figured I might as well give up the things that go hand in hand with Pepsi. Things like Nacho Cheese Doritos, and Tortilla Chips and I have to really limit spicy foods cause they cause me many problems too.

Damn, getting old really sucks balls.

Anyway, earlier this week I gave up all those things that make me happy. And my body went into full revolt.

The first thing that happened was the caffeine withdrawals headache. Which was helped a long a bit by sinus trouble. My body was just telling me to give in and have a damn Pepsi and everything would be okay. I was determined not to do it though.

On Saturday afternoon I finally couldn't take it anymore. But, instead of getting a Pepsi, I kind of tricked my body. I had some of those little 8 ounce cans of Coke Zero left over in the fridge from when Kell was here. (she likes that stuff) So, since Coke Zero has no sugar, but it does have caffeine, I opened one up and took a hit off of it.

The headache went away almost immediately. I only drank half the can and felt 100 times better. It was that simple. Okay, maybe not THAT simple, but it did make a huge difference for a while.

So while it looks likely that I will survive my caffeine withdrawals, the jury is still out on foods that tastes good withdrawals though.

I finally had to give up watching football on Saturday and just watch Juno instead. What good it is to watch college football if I can't have some Nacho Cheese goodness to go along with it?

And my brain and my stomach are having this running argument...

Stomach: I'm hungry
Brain: No you're not.
Stomach: Yeah I am.
Brain: No, you just think you are.
Stomach: Bullshit dude. I'm serious.
Brain: No, you're good. You had breakfast and lunch.
Stomach: So what? Where are the Doritos.
Brain: There are no more.
Stomach: I'm pissed.
Brain: How 'bout some fruit?
Stomach: Oh sure, and then maybe we can have some Soy Chips and for dinner we can have free range chicken and organic veggies.
Brain: Sounds like a good idea.
Stomach: I hate you.

So if anyone needs me I'll be listening to this argument going on while I still try to shake off the remains of my Pepsi withdrawals.