i got my acceptance letter to Mills College yesterdayyyy! i was really super excited. but now i'm wondering if i want to go there. i'm going to have to go and visit the campus to solidify my answer, but i'm also going to have to wait to see where else i get accepted to. they are giving me a $15,000 scholarship!! but the tuition is $40,000! i'm afraid i might just end up going to city college if i don't have money... i missed out on my scholarship i was working on all weekend! (well actually, i missed out because i didn't work on it all weekend). but i worked on it ALL monday, instead of studying for my psychology final, and then the site freaked out on me the last 15 minutes, and i couldn't submit it!!!!!! was really bummed out, but that is not going to stop me. i just need to stop procrastinating!
i've been sick this week. finals were killlleerrrr. but i still have my hmong dance to get down for the asian assembly... so not a lot has been taken off my shoulders.
So finals are finally over! Yay! No more trig, no more art one, no more ap us history, and no more chemistry. Well actually no more easy chemistry. ;[ For spring term (which starts next week...) I have Intermediate Web Design, AP Chem (ahh), Spanish 3, and AP English (double ahh). Yeah when I told someone my schedule he was like "wow you are a nerd." But of course I am a nerd. Too bad I a not a smart nerd. I guess that doesn't make sense. I studied for like four hours (very rough estimate) for my trig final and I got a C. At least I got a B in the class. I barely got an A in Chemistry because of that stupid final and that stupid comp check. I have an A in Art. I got a B+ in AP US History. I wish I had actually studied more because then I would have gotten an A on the test. Oh well. Spring term is going to be hell but I am going to try and enjoy it. So my plan for spring term, even though I am going to have hard classes and lots of test (AP, SATS, SAT II), I am going to do fun things too. Tiffany said she and Michelle are going to try out for the spring musical and I think I want too. Singing and dancing is so fun. After multicultural, I feel so empty. Performing is really fun and it is really fun to be a part of something and do something. It is exhilarating to accomplish something. I would be happy even if I was like TREE #1. At least I tried out and made it. I am total noob though in theater. I took Children's Theater freshman year. I don't even really know if I can sing that well. I can karaoke. But singing? That sounds a bit harder. But I will just have fun with it.
After finals today, Tiffany and I made a plan to hang. Too bad we had no plans on what to do since we had no car and no money. So we walked around looking for Kingston who said he was going to go eat and play hide-n-seek at school later (wow sounds like elementary) but we couldn't find him. So we went to little Christina's house and fangirled over the Big Bang concert. Tiffany taught me the "Last Farewell" chorus dance part. It was fun. Then we walked back to school and then to Michelle's house. I couldn't stay to go play hide-n-seek at school with them, which I regret because it sounds so kiddish and fun. Wow we are such losers. Sixteen and playing hide-n-seek.
So I think it would be super fun to make a mv like these people:
I really admire these girls. They actually got recognized and I am sure Big Bang has seen their video. They are lucky. I think the girl who does G.D is good and totally cute. It seems like they put a lot of work into it. I've made videos (for projects) and it is a lot more work than you think it is.
This is a really random video to parody Big Bang's "Lies" but it is really funny. I think these guys would be like the gay best friends I have always dreamed of. JK. I think they are kind of cute. I think the beginning is the best especially when the gorilla mask guy is walking down and then the other guy comes up and dances up on him and then the other two guys come up and one guy who was wearing some stunna shades just throws down his cig.
Here are some songs that I have been listening to non-stop.
I just got the Colbie Caillat album (pretty late I know) and I like every song but these are just a couple favorites. Even though "Bubbly" is super over played, it still is good. I think she has great lyrics and a great voice. Lately I have been listening to a lot of Korean music but now I am going back into the mix of English and Korean.
So I am super obsessed with getting a hat with long furry ears. I see these hats all over Korean variety shows and I found a post on FeetManSeoul about it. I think it would be pretty interesting to wear a animal hat like this around school.
Yeah I feel like I am leaving a lame post about random things but enjoy.
I was reading about this new book called "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff... and it's all small stuff". It is one of those self-help books (which are totally boring so I never read them but I guess they are cheaper than seeing a shrink right?). There were some certain sections that I did relate to and my week.
See the Innocence "For many people, one of the most frustrating aspects of life is not being able to understand other people's behavior. We see them as "guilty" instead of "innocent". It's tempting to focus on people's seemingly irrational behavior - their comments, actions, mean-spirited acts, selfish behavior - and get extremely frustrated. If we focus on behaviour too much, it can seem like other people are making us miserable." I think that is really true. I do sometimes label people "guilty" when their behavior is not "normal". I do that to my brother all the time. I think partially because my parents do that. Instead of listening or understanding, they just label GUILTY or bad behavior or disrespectful behavior on my brother. Then when I bag on my brother, it just makes me mad because of his behavior. Like I will yell at him to do the dishes before he goes jogging but he says he will do it after he goes jogging but I just continuously yell at him until I get frustrated and then let him go and then I feel superbad when he just comes home after jogging and actually does the dishes.
"The next time (and hopefully from now on), when someone acts in a strange way, look for the innocent in their behaviour. If you're compassionate, it won't be hard to see. When you see the innocence, the same things that have always frustrated you no longer do. And, when you're not frustrated by the actions of others, it's a lot easier to stay focused on the beauty of life."
That is sound advice. Stop worrying and getting mad about other people and just let it go. Just listen and see the innocence in their behavior and it will be easier to accept them the way they are. Instead of yelling at my brother, I should just let him jog and then I can trust he will do the dishes.
Choose Being Kind over Being Right "You have chances to "correct" people, privately as well as in front of others. What all these opportunities amount to are chance to make someone else feel bad, and yourself feel bad in the process. Without getting too psychoanalytical about it, the reason we are tempted to put others down, correct them, or show them how we're right and they're wrong is that our ego mistakenly believes that if we point out how someone else is wrong, we must be right, and therefore we will feel better. In actuality, however, if you pay attention to the way you feel after you put someone down, you'll notice that you feel worse than before the put-down. Your heart, the compassionate part of you, knows that it's impossible to feel better at the expense of someone else."
I am absolutely guilty in doing this. I did it just recently and it hit me hard in the conscious. So I hoped this one friend would do bad (well not really) because I was feeling competitive (we were jokingly bagging on each other) but then this friend calls me later to tell me I did great on my presentation. I felt super bad. Though it may not seem much to some people, I think it is a lesson to learn. I would rather be kind than right sometimes. There is no point in pointing out a person's every flaw and mistake. I just don't like it when people feel the need to criticize excruciatingly on others. I am guilty of doing this but I am trying to follow the "if you have nothing good to say then don't say anything at all." I don't feel right in my heart when I end up gossiping or talking about someone behind their back. I don't do it as often but I know that I have done it more than I should. Humans are made to make mistakes and I know that and I know that I can be hypocritical of my own sayings but I can accept that.
So to talk about more fun stuff:
So apparently these two new designs are a South East Asia EXCLUSIVE by Nike during their tour in Asia. The female shoe is the pink with purple check and the ID on the show says "true love" and the male shoe is the purple wiht blue check and the ID says "be true". They are super cute and if anyone is going to South East Asia please COP ME A PAIR! I think they are only giving them exclusively though. They are super sweet though. I really love the IDs on both.
Finals weeks as been crazy for me. I think the stress is starting to seep in. I failed a math test so my grade dropped three percent so I have to get an A- just to get a B+. T_______T (weep, weep). I am already stuck with B in AP US (just fingers crossed for AP test). Art can easily changed to an A. Chemistry is an A right now but I'm really worried that I will fall below A- if I get a B+ on the final. WHY WHY WHY does everything always fall at the end. I tried so hard and now it is like SPLAT in my face. Sigh. My parents both think I am stupid now because all I get is B's. My mom even told my sister once that she thought i was going "lower and lower". It really disappoints me that my parents are so unfair like that. My mom was some fob in high school and didn't finish college. My father didn't even attend high school (too poor back in Korea). They just don't understand. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am too tough to cry about it anymore. Why do parents make school more stressing than it is? And you know what I hate.. people who don't stress about school and act like it is nothing and don't even care about college. Or smart people who don't use their potential or work hard. Sigh life is unfair. The average people have to work harder than those above always.
I am feeling depressed now. To cheer me up here are some inspirations for junior prom.
PSYCHE. JK. the day you see me wear that, i will probably like 80 years old. that is called "princess style" from japan. crazy japanese.
