Greed ...

Okay, so I’m wayyyyyyyyyyy behind on Kay’s Seven Deadly Sins Meme. Hell, I don’t even know which ones I’ve missed and which ones are left. But, I decided to jump back in there this week and play. This week’s sin is GREED.

You would think that "Greed" would be an easy topic given that the world is full of some of the greediest people. Well, it turns out that it isn't all that easy actually. Mostly because we don't all agree on who really is being greedy.

A lot of people are outraged at the salaries of pro athletes.

A lot of people are outraged at the salaries of movie stars and other celebrities.

A lot of people are outraged at the salaries of a lot of corporate CEO's and top officers.

They may all be right, but they don't all agree with each other's views. Many people who think that sports figures are way over paid will vehemently disagree that movie stars are overpaid. And many of the people who think that movie stars are over paid will defend corporate pay. And so on. Seems as though one person's overpaid greed-head is someone that another person just thinks is getting paid what the market will pay.

Personally I’m not particularly bothered by any of them. Although I do consider some of each of those three to be very overpaid given their level of production, but so what. There are a lot of blue collar types out there that I have worked with over the years who got paid pretty decent hourly wages for doing the bare minimum they could get away with.

But athletes, celebrities and CEOs are really easy targets. So are blow-dried TV ministers who are all about preaching the good word to the masses as long as it makes them a celebrity and turns them into multi-millionaires.

So how bout we talk about our America-loving public servants? You know, those people who run for office because they want to protect the people from government and other bad things and make our lives better. What selfless, thoughtful people they are.

I’m sure there are lots of great examples of people using public service as a way to feed their greed, but I found one this weekend that I think really exemplifies just how bad this problem is. It comes to us from the state of Maryland and it actually centers around a law against strips clubs.

Me? Finding some obscure story about strip clubs? Shocking, I know.

Anyhoodle, Seems that the state bosses decided that a way to try to get rid of strip clubs – and why ANYONE would want to get rid of strip clubs is beyond me – would be to outlaw the sale of alcohol at these establishments. But, there was a slight problem. A former state senator owned one of those strip clubs.

Well, that wasn’t really a problem for the creative crooks defenders of the people in the state legislature. They simply put a clause in the bill that created an exception for their former colleague. See, no problem at all! The nanny state gets to remind women that the government has control over their bodies and their lives protect the people of Maryland from girls who are working their way through college by stripping, and their former colleague gets his special exemption and a competitive advantage over the competition by being allowed to serve alcohol. Allowing him to rake in the big bucks.

And you want to know the real kicker in all this? This line right here is the absolutely best part of the whole story …

“Broadwater relinquished his Senate seat after a federal fraud conviction about 25 years ago.”

(Broadwater is the man who owns the club that got the special exemption.)

So, not only is the guy who got the special treatment from his buddies a former state senator, he was convicted of fraud. I guess once you’re in the club, you’re in for life, huh?

What’s really bothersome is that stories like this special deal that this Broadwater guy got. Or even the Blagojavich story. It’s that this is the way business is done in every single state legislature and in every single statehouse in this country. Pay to play is the norm, not the exception. The people that we are sending to Washington and to our state legislatures and to the city and county councils are all using those offices not to protect us from the government or from corporations or whoever, but to make themselves and their buddies rich.

And entirely too many of us are too busy worrying about iPods, royal hugs, sleeveless dresses and other trivial, silly crap to be bothered to notice.

Fat, Drunk and Stupid ...

So this week’s words in Kay’s Seven Deadly Sins meme is “Gluttony.”


This is a pretty tough one for me to discuss. As you have probably noticed, I have a bit of a weight problem. And, if you’ve been reading you also know that I decided to use Lent as yet another way of dealing with my problem with food. I call it. “Junkless for Jesus™.”

I’ve tried eliminating the junk food in the past, and never been totally (or even remotely) successful at. But, this time I have the power of Jesus working with me. So, that should make a big difference right there.

Now I know that many of you think that I’m an Atheist or some kind of Godless heathen or whatever. That’s not true. Just because I’m not standing in the front row of some mega-church on Sunday mornings with my hands in the air and vacant, glazed-over look in my eyes screaming “AMEN!” while some greedy, fat slob who makes more money that most CEO’s spews intolerance and hatred, does NOT mean that the J-Dude and I aren’t boys. Cause we are.

In fact, I have it on good authority that Jesus is NOT happy with the John Hagee’s and Rick Warren’s of the world. I’m just sayin’.



But, we’re talking about me and one of my most serious character flaws here. Not people with no character at all.

Okay, this might come as a bit of s surprise to you guys, but I’m not exactly the most happy-go-lucky guy around. No, really. I know it’s hard to believe. In fact, when I started this blog, I debated with myself about whether or not I should go with “Miserable Bastard” instead of “Cynical.” In the end I chose Cynical because I didn’t think it reflected as badly on me.

Junk food has always been a problem for me. Chips, cookies, candy bars, fast food etc. Any and all of it. And not just a little bit either. I’m talking like sit down and watch a football game and eat practically a whole bag of Doritos. And then that night order a pizza for dinner.

Obviously this is driven by a number of different things. Boredom, loneliness, anger, lack of self-control and whatever else. And then of course there is the guilt and self-loathing that came after a day of eating like that. Which leads to the inevitable lying in bed staring at the ceiling thinking that it would just be for the best if I would fall asleep and not wake up. (Which is a totally different feeling from being suicidal.) Of course, the intensity of all this has varied throughout the years. Sometimes it’s worse than others.

The amazing thing about this is that the food isn’t all that good. In fact, most fast food is actually tastes disgusting. Well, except Dominos, that’s freaking delicious. And, oh man, when I lived in San Antonio, Taco Cabana! Burritos from that place? Fucking heaven! But seriously, 99% of all that junk food and fast food is nasty.

So, that brings us to my decision to follow Matt-Man’s lead and Sacrifice for the Savior. I decided to give up all junk food for Lent. So, here we are two and a half weeks or so into it and since I’m not Catholic I figured I should do my confession here.

*Lips quivering. Tears streaming.* I have sinned against you Lord. In the period known as Lent, where I pledged to go Junkless for Jesus™ I have, on one two occasions had a slice of chocolate ice cream pie for dessert. And on another occasion I had two dunkin sticks (donuts) from Wal-Mart. And of course on my birthday I had a Butterfinger and some B-Day cake, but birthdays are exempted from Lent, so that doesn’t really count. I also had some Lemon Heads, but they ARE fat-free, so that minimized my guilt in that instance.

So there ya go. I have indeed cheated a couple of times. I do feel bad about it, but at the same time, at least I didn’t go whole hog and have chips, and Snickers bars, and a whole tub of ice cream or a large all-meat pizza. Not trying to minimize the fact that I have fallen short, but I’m just sayin’ it could have been so much worse. Of course it’s not over either. In fact, we’re not even half way through this. So, I have to stray strong.

Actually, it hasn’t been all that bad. I mostly have trouble in the late afternoon and at night about an hour after dinner. And of course weekend afternoons are times when I’m looking around wondering if there is anything to snack on.

But, I have also noticed some immediate positive affects. I do feel better. Physically and mentally. So, there is that.

Now don’t get me wrong. When this is over I’m not going to be eating tofu burgers with a side of soy chips and then grabbing a small bag of granola and nuts for a snack later on. But, I am hoping that the positive side to doing away with the junk food will be more powerful than the comfort it brings.

Thanks for your support and may the spiritual being of your choice bless you.

Lusty, Lusty, Lusty ...

So, Kay over at “Perhaps We Learned Something” has invented a little meme that is going to last exactly seven weeks. Being the joiner I am, I’ve decided to play along.


Basically the idea is that she’s going to post one of the Seven Deadly Sins each week, and then we are supposed to write about it. Or do a photo blog about it. Or a vlog. Or whatever. I guess a vlog would be okay, right Kay? You didn’t mention vlogs, but that might be fun.

Anyhoodle, this is week one of the Seven Deadly Sins Meme. And for week one is the sin is …

LUST!

Yeah, baby!


My first thought when I saw that this week’s word was “STRIPPER STORIES!!!” But, then I saw that she asked up keep it PG-13. So, stripper stories are out.

So, instead I will tell a couple of stories from back in the day. The first one takes place in San Francisco, CA.

It was the first time I had ever been there. My brother in law was stationed at Mather Air Force Base in Sacrament and my mother and I went out there to visit. On our visit we made a day trip to San Francisco. Needless to say, it was clear right from the beginning that we weren’t in Arkansas any more.

Anyway, it was our intention to make our way to the Fisherman’s Warf, but we got lost. I’m sure anyone from there, or near there, probably thinks that there is no way to get lost looking for something that EVERYBODY goes to. But, we did.

I’ve never been concerned with getting lost. I just figure it’s part of the sight-seeing trip. So I rather enjoyed driving through different areas of the city. Then we made a turn down some street and found ourselves in a rather interesting neighborhood. To our right was the Lusty Lady Theater …


Needless to say I was the only one in the Jeep Cherokee who thought stopping and going inside would be a good idea. So, we drove on past. But, I did make a note of the place. Just in case I ever made it back.

--

Next I will tell the story about the very first thing that popped into my head when I saw that this week’s word was “Lust.” I have no idea why I thought of this.

When I was a freshman at the University of Arkansas, the town of Fayetteville and the school were both still pretty funky. It would be about five years still before the liberal corporate elitists would take control of the town from the hippies and yuppify the place, thus ruining it.

Also, the 1st Amendment was still intact, and people could set themselves up on the plaza in front of the student union and do some sort of one man protest. Sometimes they would try to get people to save the whales, sometimes it was the rainforests and sometimes they were preaching the gospel. Now of course, you have pay for permit and then go to the designated “fee speech zone.” Don’t get me started.

Anyway, very late in the spring semester, a middle aged man showed up one Monday, carrying a microphone and amp set. He then began to preach the word of God to everyone as we wandered by on our way to and from class or whatever important things we were doing. As the week went on the crowds began to grow and people began to go down there to debate him. It got to be quite the entertaining show. The debates were, for the most part, very respectful and at times very deep and philosophical.

With one exception. Anytime a coed wearing a short dress or shorts would walk past, or come up to him, the man would stop whatever he was talking about, point at her, and yell “LUSTY, LUSTY, LUSTY!” Needless to say, the crowd started joining in with him each time. This made the whole thing even more entertaining.

But, best of all was the fact that by the end of the week, many girls had decided that they too wanted to be called “lusty” by this guy. So, the plaza became a parade of young, fit coeds strutting around in mini-skirts and short-shorts.


It was a beautiful sight. Girls wearing skimpy outfits walking around, and large crowds of both men and women, led by Mr. Preacherman, shouting “LUSTY, LUSTY, LUSTY” at them.

In fact, it was so much fun that on Friday my buddies and I filled some big 64 ounce plastic cups from the 7-11 (you know the kind with the tight-fitting lid and plastic straw) with beer or a mixture of Bacardi 151 and Gatorade and headed down to watch the show. For most of the afternoon we sat there, drinking alcohol and eating pizza from Jim’s Razorback Pizza in the Union and watched the lusty little ladies strut their stuff.

Next to that party at the Sig Ep house, where those four girls got up on the tables and danced naked, the preacher man was probably the most entertaining thing that happened that semester.