Slip Siding Away ...

So the weather has been pretty shitastic this week.  We got about four inches or so of snow and then to finish things off about a solid hour of sleet and freezing drizzle on top of it.  Then several days of temps not even making above 25 degrees.  Now, we’re being told to expect more snow and ice tonight.  And, after the weather moves through we’re looking at highs in the single digits and lows somewhere around 10 BELOW ZERO the rest of the week. 

Now, I realize that you people up north have to deal with far worse.  But, you have an advantage.  This type of thing happens every year for you.  Down here, not so much.  We get snow, but nowhere near what we used to get when I was a kid.  And, as a result of not getting all that much, it isn’t worth it to the city and county to budget very much for street clearing and salting.  So our roads don’t always get cleared.  Only the main roads will actually be treated and plowed and that’s because those are state roads. 

Worse than that is the fact that my apartment complex doesn’t do a damn thing at all.  If the city salts Rock Springs Road, then all the traffic coming into the complex will track a lot of it up here and help clear off part of the parking lot.  But, that only results in one side of the parking lot being clear.

This is what it looks like today…

As you can see half the parking lot is pretty clear and the other half isn’t. 

But, what really cheeses me off most is the complex's exit.  It's already a bit on the dangerous side when conditions are good.  When it’s icy though? Down right scary.   See, when you’re leaving the complex you drive along and as you get to the exit there is slope that goes down at a pretty steep angle and curves pretty sharply. 

Here’s what it looks like…


You might notice that you have to stop about halfway down the slope as you’re leaving.  That’s so you can look to see if anyone is coming down this hill…

What sucks is it’s a blind drive.  You can’t see anyone coming down the hill until you get to that stop sign.  But, when it’s icy, it’s kind of hard to stop on that slope.  Then, you have to continue down the hill to the exit and stop again before exiting onto Rock Springs Road.

Also, you have to make sure nobody is either in front of you or behind you so you don’t have to worry about not being able to stop and hit someone at the first stop sign, or worse, someone behind you not being able to stop and slamming into you!

This is what I witnessed yesterday.  While I was out there assessing the situation, I witnessed TWO accidents.  Seems that a lot of people don't really understand that driving on ice isn't that hard.  Stopping? That's the tricky part.

Anyway, when it was my turn I was smart and watched and waited until I was sure nobody would be in my way.  Then I slowly pulled out of my parking space and then put the car in low.  I slowly began to creep towards the hill.  Before starting down the hill I took another peek up the other hill to make sure it was clear and then proceeded forward.

I was only a few feet down the hill when suddenly the car began to slide.  I didn't know what to do!  3,000 pounds of American Steel careening out of control down the Hill of DEATH!!  I began screaming and panicking while frantically trying to get control of the car.  As the car started to go into it's death spiral I screamed "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO I'M GONNA DIE!!!  I started thinking about my family and all my friends online.  I was thinking about how someone was going to have to post my "Goodbye Everyone" post that I have in case anything bad happens and how many of you out there I never got to have sex with meet in person.  Then I began to sob uncontrollably at the thought of dying right there.

Then I remembered back in driver's ed in high school they told us to turn the wheel into the slide just slightly and let up on the break until the car straightened out.  Finally, I got control again.  Once the car stopped, I put it in park for a second so I could take stock of the situation. 

Turns out I only slid about 2 feet and I was still pointed in the right direction. 

Good thing my super awesome cat-like ninja reflexes saved the day.

The Contest Ninja

It's not my style to brag but ....

Once again I have put my amazing Ninja-like mind skills on display for all to see. For the second year in a row, I fired up my ultra-competitive spirit along with lighting fast mental reflexes and WON the second round of Tink's 3rd Annual PB Contest last Friday. The contest being the big closing party of her 3rd Annual Summer Extravaganza.

I tell ya folks, I should have video taped myself winning that contest. It was something to see. I think that video probably would have become the standard for how to compete in blog contests. That video would be broken down and analyzed by people all over the world. Teachers would use it to inspire school kids and it would be used in seminars to teach business leaders how to use their analytical skills. They would probably be featuring me in the "Society" section of major newspapers and somebody would make an hour long special about me to be broadcast on CNBC or The Learning Channel. Maybe Discover Channel too, if they could squeeze it in with all the shows about animals killing and screwing.

But since there is no video the story of my legendary victory will have to be passed down the old fashioned way from generation to generation. Mothers and fathers will have to gather their children around an all-meat pizza, a case of Lone Star Beer and a bottle of Cabo Wabo Tequila the fireplace and tell them the inspiring story of my victory.



I do want to give a shout out to one of my competitors though. Fiwa fought hard and is certainly an impressive advisary worthy of my respect. Especially since I beat her in round two. But, I will be honest with you. Had I gotten the word verification wrong, Fiwa would have won that round. When I hit "publish comment" and the comment box reloaded my answers to the questions and Fiwa's popped up at the same time. Luckily mine were in front of hers so I won. I think that just adds more luster to my victory. It was so intese and close! But, congrats to Fiwa for coming back later and winning her own victory in the Surprise Round. That was a very impressive win. Well, as impressive as any win can be when I'm excluded from competing because of the fact that I had already won a round. haha ;-)~

Don't forget that tomorrow is the WWC. The words are High and Low. That is also hosted by Tink. You know, it's starting to become rather obvious to me that the blogosphere is pretty much Tink's world and the rest of us are just paying rent. That's okay though. She's cool.