Kitschy B-Film Festival: Plan 10 From Outer Space

"Just because he made it up, doesn't mean it's not true."


Okay, I had been wanting to watch the Mormon themed Sci-Fi film Plan 10 From Outer Space, by filmmaker Trent Harris, for a long time. How could I not after reading the back of the DVD cover?

It is Fellini on an Ed Wood budget. This sci-fi comedy is an outrageous concoction of sexual fantasy, conspiracy theory, and religious satire. It begins when Lucinda Hall deciphers a centuries old book penned by a mad Mormon prophet. In it's pages she discovers a diabolical plot hatched by Nehor, a peeved alien from the planet Kolob. As Lucinda frantically tries to uncover "the secret of the bees" she is sucked into a strange world filled with spacemen, polygamists and angels.

"Rocky Horror meets the Mormons." Cinefantastique Magazine

"Nancy Drew on Acid." Sundance Film Festival

First of all, I highly recommend watching this film in a room full of ex-Mormons, each with a glass of wine in them, which I did. But I have to warn you, if you do, you will hit pause and spin off into lengthy rants about the brain damage of your youth more times than you can count and it will take a ridiculously long time to get through it. But, it will be so worth it.

My favorite thing about truly kitschy B-movies is their oh-so-low production quality. The random horribleness of the costumes, hair and make-up, props, scenery, special effects... The worse they are, the more sublime. And this one didn't disappoint. Although, I gotta say, we were pretty impressed with the spaceship. Not kidding. It rocked.

It began on a high note with a couple fooling around in a car playing BYU's favorite game JUST THE TIP. From there it careened headlong into Peeping Tomfoolery, electric shock aversion therapy, seagull poop, cursed private parts, "hard, sweaty, nasty sex with angels", pioneer women in Go-Go cages, the Mormon Macarena and Karen Black singing a glorious love song / anthem to Kolob - all to a soundtrack that featured the harp with a delightful frequency.

Best lines:

"I'm an artist myself. I also have a motorcycle." Loved the kooky exhibitionist neighbor. Loved, him, loved him, loved him!

"Nehor's comin... OH, YEAH!" This should be mandatorily exclaimed in unison, with true Kool-Aid-esque enthusiasm, by every LDS seminary class studying the Book of Mormon.

"Our windows fuck each other." I blurted this out to my neighbors when I was a virginal young Mormon girl as well. Didn't we all?

The last three are my favorites and stand alone in such a beautifully perfect way, no comment is necessary.

"Your metaphors befoul the air."

"Oh, there's a Plan 10. And it's so horribly insidious it makes my butt quake."

"It makes the church look silly."

Plan 10 From Outer Space was a wild romp through the weirdest of the LDS teachings. Like Barbarella it utilized the beauty of spaceships, goofy double names "Larson Larson" [Pretty Pretty], weird sex and naked extras. But, unlike Barbarella, it left me wanting to boil my brain - which means it did it's job brilliantly.

Barbarella is still the clear Kitschy-B Festival winner - but Plan 10 gets a big fat A for putting Silliness under such an entertaining microscope.



Goodbye feet...

Kitschy B-Film Festival: Barbarella

OMG. Barbarella Psychedella. Who knew???

How have I never seen more than a few clips of this before now? Seriously, I thought I'd had Happygasms in the past. But, until yesterday, I didn't know what a Happygasm was. Holy Shit. The premiere screening of my little glee-filled film festival was a smash success of ridiculously epic proportions. I cannot remember the last time I had that much fun and laughed that hard.

Where to even begin? The opening credit sequence; the music; the wardrobe changes of wonderment (I now know what I am going to dress up as for Halloween - for the rest of my life!) ; the hairy men; the flying men; the creepy children; the carnivorous dolls; the naked extras; the after sex humming; Professor Ping with the shot glass stuck to his head; the interior of the spaceship made entirely of Snuffleupagus; the way she kept tripping and rolling about helplessly... I could go on and on and on. This film is freaking BRILLIANT!!!

My personal favorites: (#1) The Excessive Machine - don't think for a second that pleasure organ is not going immediately to the top of my Christmas Wish List. (#2) The Exaltation Transference Pellet - which I thought sounded like a boring as hell substitute for good old fashioned sex until Barbarella and Dildano took one. The subsequent hair curling was magically delicious. (#3) The name Dildano. (#4) The Giant Hookah from which one can smoke The Essence of Man. Hell Yeah!!!

Best lines:

"You mean they could still be living in a primitive state of neurotic irresponsibility?" This is SO going on my headstone. "Emily Pearson. She lived her life in a primitive state of neurotic irresponsibility."

"Let me adjust my tongue box." My new favorite pick up line.

"Make love? What do you mean? You don't even know my Psycho Cardiogram." My new favorite shoot him down line.

"My name isn't Pretty, Pretty. It's Barbarella." I am changing my name. From now on I want you all to call me Pretty Pretty Pearson.

"The energy cables are shrinking. You've turned them into faggots!" Oh, Honey, have I been there.

The best review came from Juiceman who, I think it's safe to say, speaks for the whole group:

"Barbella is a tender contemplation which highlights the expansive search for spiritual good, both searching the larger confines of the galaxy whilst delving deep within the caverns of one’s soul. The subtle, albeit potent idiosyncrasies of the narrative stand to shatter preconceived duties and unite the crippling weight of expectancy. But more importantly, the film had boobies in it, a lot of boobies, a lot of really nice boobies. Boobies."

And there you have it. We will try our best to find a film that tops this one but I highly doubt such a thing exists. The bar has been set.

Kitschy B-Film Festival

Have y'all noticed yet that the stupider and more bizarre something is, the more I love it? Well, in my never ending quest to entertain the hell out of myself, I have decided to pay homage to my deep love of all things Kitsch and start my very own little film festival featuring the goofiest, worst-therefore-best, B movies I can find. Some friends are coming over this Sunday for the kick off, which is...

[Drum Roll...]

Barbarella: Queen of The Galaxy, starring Jane Fonda.


And you're all invited to join in. If you have the time and the insane inclination, run out and rent it. Watch it on Sunday and tune in for reviews on Monday.

I'm so excited I could pee.