Review: Jenna and Jonah's Fauxmance by Emily Franklin and Brendan Halpin

Tags: middle grade, YA, contemporary, he-said/she-said, Hollywood, drama

Summary

Move aside, Hannah Montana. Everybody wants more of Jenna and Jonah’s How to Be a Rock Star, a TV show about two neighbors’ undercover lives as rock stars. But it seems to be “Jenna” and “Jonah’s” off-screen romance that sells…except that in reality, the romance is a publicity ploy, and the two young stars, Charlie and Fielding, can’t stand each other. Fielding thinks Charlie is a Type-A diva who is obsessed with her own career, while Charlie thinks that Fielding takes the whole industry for granted.

But then their fauxmance is blown, and as Charlie and Fielding keep each other company in isolation, they begin to actually learn who the other person is.

Review

I gave this book a try, despite its predictable synopsis, because, hey, who doesn’t enjoy a he-said/she-said formula romance every once in a while, if it’s done well? Unfortunately, JENNA AND JONAH’S FAUXMANCE was a solid miss for me. Clunky writing, undeveloped characters with minimal chemistry, and an ambitious but failed conclusion all contributed.

Let’s talk about the characters first. YA has seen its fair share of Hollywood teen divas. Charlie and Fielding failed at being distinct or memorable. Charlie is supposedly this uptight overachiever who, when relaxed, can be a lot of fun. But when she was relaxed in the book, she was flat and uninteresting, and the only time I felt like she had fun all happened in brief flashbacks. Fielding is an ordinary boy who hails from the Midwest, and who is only in this industry to make enough money so that he doesn’t have to work hard like his dad for the rest of his life and can enjoy his books in anonymity. Now, I like my boys smart, but again, Fielding’s bookishness didn’t ring true for me. The authors seemed to portray Fielding’s literary knowledge only in extremely awkward quotes that fell flat and didn’t lend to his bookish credibility at all.

In fact, that was probably the problem I had with the whole book. Tiny details were fine—Hollywood, Fielding’s bookishness, the Shakespearean performance—but they all lacked cohesiveness. Imagine two people having a conversation in which both just talked about their own interests instead of engaging in a flowing back-and-forth. That was kind of how I felt, reading Charlie and Fielding’s supposed get-to-know-ya interactions. Uh, whut? Fielding, are you really seeing who Charlie is, or are you still attempting to talk at your idea of who she is? That just…doesn’t work for me. The writing was jarring and off-putting.

I can think of better examples of Hollywood drama, he-said/she-said romances, or plots involving acting. JENNA AND JONAH’S FAUXMANCE didn’t have a bad premise, being what it intended to be, but little within the book had the seemingly effortless chemistry that I want in a good book.

Similar Authors
Jennifer Echols
Elizabeth Eulberg

Writing: 2/5
Characters: 2/5
Plot: 2/5

Overall Rating: 2 out of 5


Cover discussion: 1.5 out of 5 - Oh please, do blind me some more with that drab shade of pink.

Walker Books / Feb. 1, 2011 / Paperback / 240pp. / $9.99

Sent by publisher for review after accepting review pitch.

Lindsay Lohan Necklace Surveillance Video Sold

Lindsay Lohan Necklace Surveillance Video SoldKamofie & Co., the "victim" in the alleged Lindsay Lohan jewelry store scandal just cashed in on a very important tape.The store reportedly just sold the surveillance tape of Lindsay to Entertainment Tonight for $35,000!"The tape was sold in the U.S. and abroad," a source told Radaronline. "The jewelry store wanted a bidding war to maximize profits.

Lindsay Lohan Faces Felony Charge

Lindsay Lohan will appear in court today to be charged with felony grand theft. The troubled 24-year-old is accused of stealing a $2,500 necklace from a Venice, Calif., jewelry store on January 22.If convicted, Lohan faces up to three years in prison. At her 1:30 PM arraignment, Lohan will surrender to the court but won't be handcuffed in front of cameras. She is currently on probation for a

Blog Tour Review: Low Red Moon by Ivy Devlin

Tags: YA, paranormal romance, murder, mystery, werewolves

Summary

Avery Hood remembers almost nothing about the night her parents were murdered and she was found sitting by their bodies, covered in their blood. As she adjusts to her new life with her grandmother and being avoided by her classmates, she meets—and is instantly attracted to—Ben, a new boy at school. She can hardly believe the flashes of silver she sees in her eyes, silver that reminds her of the mysterious something she saw the night of her parents’ death. Avery finds herself unable to stay away from Ben, despite the fact that he may be keeping a secret that is related to the thing that killed her parents…

Review

I should’ve known better. I’ve grown more and more wary (no, not quite weary) of paranormal romances, because so many of them use the exact same formulae, with the same underwhelming results. LOW RED MOON may be an interesting enough read for the eternally paranormal romance-happy, but the number of conventions it uses unfortunately did not win me over.

Is it really even necessary to talk about the many paranormal romance conventions that appear in this book? I will just start listing them in question form: How is Ben attractive aside from his beauty and the inexplicable allure that Avery feels towards him? Why does Avery seem like she would not exist outside the mystery behind her parents’ death and her attraction to Ben, i.e. why does she not have interests, passions, hobbies, and worries outside of the usual “I wish things could go back to how they used to be”?

Also, why do people believe that as long as they don’t mention what, exactly, the type of supernatural creature in the story is, that this makes the story all the more credible? Here, let me explain it to you, in a way that Avery, for some reason, refuses to: IT’S A WEREWOLF ROMANCE. Does thinking that she might be dealing with a werewolf make Avery less credible, when within the first few pages of meeting Ben, she already tells him that she knows there is something unusual about him?

LOW RED MOON’s writing is reminiscent of any number of those paranormal romance visual franchises (Twilight, The Vampire Diaries) that make so much money nowadays. The dialogue is always being spoken at either a fearful, hissy whisper or in the literary equivalent of Kristen Stewart’s expressionless monotone. Ben behaves only like he is always on the verge of breaking down over his concern (or, I suppose, luuuv) for Avery, telling her in panicky voices to leave him alone, go away, save herself, stay away from him. And of course Avery has a one-track mind and cannot. Stay. Away. Of course.

The prose is what I think I’ll call “melodramatic teen prose” from now on: there are a lot of repetitions, repetitions that one seems to think will make the story seem cool, cool or otherworldly, otherworldly in a highbrow manner, and oh—how I love the dashes that appear everywhere—to indicate the dropping off of thought—interruptions because—gasp!—IT CONTRIBUTES TO THE PARANORMAL ROMANCE MELODRAMA, DAMNIT.

Reading this is kind of like how I imagine reading a screenplay of The Vampire Diaries would look like, which was one of the biggest reasons why I stopped reading L. J. Smith.

A sadly great number of recent paranormal romances out there make Twilight look good in comparison, and I’m sorry to say that LOW RED MOON was no exception. If the promise of a low-key supernatural murder mystery intrigues you and you are supremely devoted to paranormal romances so that conventions don’t bother you, then you could give this a try. Otherwise, I would honestly say that you should stay away, or else you’ll end up like me, writing this sort of review in order to expression the frustration that this book manages to eloquently wrap up all that is cliché about YA paranormal romances.

Similar Authors
Maggie Stiefvater
L. J. Smith
Lauren Kate
Stephenie Meyer

Writing: 2/5
Characters: 2/5
Plot: 2/5

Overall Rating: 2 out of 5


Cover discussion: 2 out of 5 - Apparently it looks pretty neat in person, with foil and embossing and all that, and the inside is two-toned, but, while I like the redness (it's a color that hasn't been used much for paranormal romance covers yet), it didn't tell me much except to expect a werewolf love story.

Bloomsbury / Sept. 14, 2010 / Hardcover / 256pp. / $16.99

ARC sent by publisher for blog tour. Sorry.

Lisbon 2 campaign begins with dishonest leaflets at Giscard D’Estaing talk

Valéry Giscard D’Estaing

The Lisbon 2 campaign was launched on Thursday 12 Febuary in Dublin at a debate at Trinity College between Valéry Giscard D’Estaing and among others Libertas's Caroline Simons. One leaflet distribted ion the night included the same smear that Libertas employed during the Lisbon 1 referendum campaign over which D'Estaing branded Ganley dishonest only

On Thursday last Valéry Giscard D’Estaing, who played a key role during Ireland’s Lisbon Treaty referendum last year, debated with anti-treaty advocates in Dublin . He became a key figure during the campaign after Libertas quoted him as saying that the treaty meant that “public opinion will be led to adopt, without knowing it, the proposals we dare not present to them directly”.

The quotation was taken from an interview carried in French newspaper Le Monde but the next paragraph made clear that he believed that such an approach would be “unworthy” and only confirm European citizens “in the idea that the construction of Europe is organised behind their backs by lawyers and diplomats”.

Following the referendum campaign, Mr Giscard, who was a controversial figure during the work of the EU convention and strongly in favour of greater EU federalism, denounced Libertas founder Declan Ganley, claiming that he had deliberately misquoted him in a “dishonest” way. here

Declan Ganley, wrote that Mr Giscard had "boasted that 'public opinion will be led to adopt, without knowing it, the proposals we dare not present to them directly'."

Mr Giscard's next, unquoted paragraph, however, makes clear that he regarded such an approach as "unworthy" and likely to "confirm European citizens in the idea that the construction of Europe is organised behind their backs by lawyers and diplomats". here

A woman was ejected by Trinity College security from Thursday debate for circulating the below leaflet which uses the same quote from Le Monde which D'Estaing denounced Declan Ganley, for using to misquote him in a “dishonest” way. the leaflet declares that the EU is anti Democratic. Read it here

Leaftlet 1 front

Leaftlet 1 reverse: It says Europe and Lisbon Treaty anti European
and anti democratic . Contain dishonest use of D'Estaing
quote: “public opinion will be led to adopt, without knowing it,
the proposals we dare not present to them directly”.

The leaflet also contains the web address www.wethepeopleofeire.com .
The domain name was created Tue, Jan 06, 2009 . Its admin details are not registered.
Therefore this is a NEW campaign and not old leaflets from the June's campaign.

Security did not apprehend the person who placed the below under seats at the meeting where D'Estaing debated Libertas's Caroline Simon and Sinn Fein's Mary Lou McDonald.



This leaflet gives a web link to a very similar web address as leaflet one above www.wethe people.ie registered to a Harry O'Reilly registered also this January. The leaflet states that RFID (Radio frequecy ID cjips) are already inserted into Euro notes. It also states"
We have little time to sink Lisbon 2 and stop our kids from being chipped like cattle".
The sites download page includes the below leaflet. http://www.wethepeople.ie/download.html this page was last modified on 13 January 2008.
It also contains links to COIR an anti abortion group that it is strongly suggested were used by Libertas to campaign in the Lisbon referndum in Ireland. In November they accused Irish parliamentarians of treason here

Is this the start of Libertas's European campaign? These two recently created websites are spreading information and disinformation including the D'Estaing quote that Declan Ganley used dishonestly and out of context according toD'Estaing quote.

Another ruse that is employed is the availability of a downloadable version of this leaflet for people to print at home. The leaflet distributed at TCD on Thursday was professionally printed and guillotined/cropped. Though this was obvious I have been delayed making this post as I wished to have a professional printer concur with this view which he did on inspection of the leaflet.

Who is funding this campaign? Is it part of Libertas's campaign? They will deny this of course.

Ireland's Standards in Public Office should investigate these leaflets.

Update Within an hour of making this post a poster on machinenation posted a


high res image of piles of these leaflets awaiting distribution and the comment

The really funny thing here is that these leaflets will not be confined to Ireland. They'll be all over Europe. In fact, a little bird tells me, that they've already winged their merry way to parts foreign and have started to be handed out

.see

see here