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The road to the city

Seated Nude on a couch, Amadeo Modigliani

was true that he was always with Nini.
would look to the factory every afternoon.
looked forward the time to be with him. I liked being with him. When we were together
I forgot what I was afraid.
I liked when I spoke, and I liked it when
was quiet and biting your nails wondering what it was.
I always wondered if I would kiss, but I kissed.

NATALIA GINZBURG

So I say look around up there where the cartel is not in the other side on the right that is my balcony and they look up and know that we would actually be talking about other things but I will point out and you stare and then I watch the clouds go fast and I tell you when in reality I would have told me stay all night but instead I will say that how fast the clouds and you say is true when in fact I would have told you know I can not. And then we went on and the corner where we hugged for the first time no longer exists and I think it does not matter because I'm used because they always step around while pienso en ti y ya sabía que no estaba pero tú haces una pequeña mueca y dices que qué vamos a hacerle y en verdad no podemos hacerle nada. Y después seguimos andando y parece que nos estamos engañando el uno al otro como si fuera una ciudad que no conocemos ninguno y si hacemos una trampa en una calle el otro no se va a dar cuenta de que ése es el camino más largo pero ya lo sabemos es a propósito luego cuando alguien nos pregunta cómo llegar a alguna parte nos delatamos y damos siempre el mejor itinerario el que nosotros no estamos siguiendo y seguimos andando cada vez más lejos y arriba las nubes irán más rápido o más lentas ya no lo sé porque he dejado de mirar y te estoy viendo de reojo y sé que podría be the rest of my life and sensing how quickly time passes without daring to look at the clock and telling it where everything is around here walk to go to market and you already know why the city is not unknown to you but crosses the streets and always do the long way. And then I miss the clouds and I forget everything and everything is back to normal and normal means that my balcony is back up there with the washing and I look at myself then and there are no clouds at night has been perfectly open to me now that you are not now that nobody asks me how I could get anywhere and I do not see if I point the finger anywhere the map that you intend.