Introduction
This current day I've put together is the first in a series, that focuses mainly on games that let you take part in homosexual relationships, among other things. Unlike my other days, which have been mostly textual, these days devoted to computer games I like will consist mostly of visuals (after all, such games are, by their very nature, visual). And by visuals I mean screenshots and videos taken by myself.
The first entry in this series revolves around The Sims 3, which first came out in the summer of 2009 (though an number of expansion packs have also been released for it every few months or so). The game lets you build houses, and also create people/families to inhabit said houses. Like most of the Sims games, there are no real goals: it's more like playing with a giant digital doll house. As you can imagine, I've had quite a bit of fun with this game. Maybe too much fun, as the screenshots below will show.
One of the first characters I created was Sypha Nadon. In this variation of the character, I gave him a kind of Gothic wardrobe, along with an Adam Lambert-styled hairdo. Not to mention heart-warming puppy eyes.
Next I decided that Sypha needed a house. So I built him one. In this screenshot, it's in the lower left hand corner, the one with the trees with the pink leaves in the front yard.
Of course, it would be boring for poor Sypha to live by himself. So I decided to give him a roommate (and potential love interest). In other words, I created a version of myself and placed him into the game. Here you can see me reading a book on a somewhat flashy-looking sofa.
Over time, the two men bonded. Above we see Sypha offering James a drink. James would apparently rather stare into the distance and brood.
Finally, one day in the park, they revealed their feelings to each other.
One thing led to another, and before you knew it...
They eventually consummated their relationship.
When I first started playing as Sypha and James, I used a money cheat so they could buy all the stuff they wanted without having to worry about getting jobs. Eventually I decided to put them to work though. James gets some money by writing books, while Sypha works as a stylist and fashion designer. Not all his makeovers are a success, though, as the above screenshot proves.
Whenever Sypha's not working (or having sex with James) he can often be found designing fashion outfits at his work desk.
Sypha demonstrates the gayest way to throw a football. Though to be fair all the characters in the game throw footballs like that.
I kind of like this tranquil screenshot of Sypha reading at the beach at sunset.
When you create a character in The Sims 3, aside from deciding on their appearance and what clothes they wear you can also assign them favorite foods, favorite colors, favorite music, an astrological sign, and three traits: the three traits I gave Sypha were neat, flirty, and over-emotional, as the above and below screenshots portrays (Sypha going into a hissy fit at the park about something or other).
Sypha Nadon in his underwear. Not really a whole lot more to say.
And what the hell, here's a picture of Sypha in the buff. Sadly, the game digitally blurs the genitals. So it's kind of like Japanese porn I guess.
Recently, I decided the time had come for James and Sypha to get married (yes, in The Sims 3 sims engaged in same-sex relationships can get married just like heterosexual ones).
After Sypha proposed and James accepted, they held a wedding party. A number of guests were invited, and rings were exchanged, making them officially husband and husband. After the guests had left, the two celebrated by skinny dipping in the pool behind their house. But I'll let you use your imaginations for that.
The Sims 3 is set in an idyllic town known as Sunset Valley. When you first start the game, this town consists of both empty houses, or houses populated by computer-created characters. Therefore, it's up to the player to populate the town with his or her own creations (though I guess if they were lazy, they could just play as the computer characters). One of the great things about The Sims 3 is that the characters have free will and can live out their lives without your direction or control needed. For example, if you switch from playing one household to another, the household you were just playing as will still continue going on with their lives. As a result, it can be surprising when you go back to a household you previously played as and see what they've gotten up to outside of your supervision.
Sypha & James were the first household I created, but not the only one. As the years have gone by I've slowly built up my town's population. One of my other favorite households to play as is the “Brant household.”
The picture above is that of James Brant, another character I created. He lives in a big house a few blocks away from James and Sypha. He works in the medical field, hoping to become a doctor. He's kind of a hipster, as you can tell by his stupid glasses.
Brant lives with three other roommates. Here they can be seen in the living room/kitchen of their house, playing video games. From left to right is Steve Hunter, Daryl White, and Max Steiner, with Brant himself on the far right. Steve, Daryl and Max work as firemen. These four also have a band, named simply “The Firemen,” with Brant playing guitar, Steve on bass, Max on drums, and Daryl on keyboards. They kind of suck though.
This is Veronica Akita. She's kind of a goth-punk girl, as you can tell. Brant's in love with her, but they have yet to start up a relationship.
In the above screenshot, we can see Max in the park, chatting up Daphne Moon (from the TV show Frasier). Daphne is Steve's girlfriend (though Steve also has a crush on Sypha Nadon).
The Brant household is well-known for throwing big parties. In the foreground we can see Sypha and Daphne playing video games, while Veronica sits in between them, clearly intrigued.
Daryl isn't the brightest bulb in the box. Here we see him deciding to take a shower with his clothes still on.
This is another hipster-ish character, Anthony Nido, here seen conversing with Max and James Brant. I don't play as him very often, though. I think he's kind of cute.
I eventually started to populate the city with the casts of TV shows I like, such as Frasier and, in the screenshot above, Friends. Maybe I should make the cast of Glee one day.
Here's Steve Urkel from Family Matters.
Above, we can see American Psycho's Patrick Bateman relaxing in his expensive penthouse apartment, no doubt planning on what to do that evening: try to get into one of the city's exclusive new night clubs, perhaps?
Here's Luigi, Mario, and Princess Toadstool outside of their house.
What's a town without a monster? Here's a character I created named Mr. Monster, who bears an uncanny resemblance to the Incredible Hulk.
I even created Peter Sotos. Here we see him hard at work on his newest book.
Here we see Sotos entering the park on a beautiful and sunny day, enjoying a pleasant stroll.
Sotos is one of those households that I don't play as all that often. So it can be surprising for me when I take control of him again to see what's he been up to. Apparently, at one point where I wasn't controlling him, he got a job with the fire department. In the above photo, we can see him clowning around with Max at the fire station.
Sotos makes a dashing entrance (literally) into James & Sypha's wedding.
Like all computer games, The Sims 3 has bugs and glitches. Here's a character I created where all you can see of him is the head and feet. This can lead to some amusing animations, such as when he pours himself a drink and the glass appears to float of its own accord, or when he eats, as can be seen in the below video.
Speaking of glitches, here's another one: the game decided to clone Anthony Nido at one point (I had the same problem with Mario).
I didn't create this character. He's a computer-controlled non-player character who appears in the game's China world. I thought he was pretty cute though so I took a screenshot of him.
That's an unusual spot to keep a baby.
Nice parking job!
Sypha tried his hand at snake charming while vacationing in Egypt.
Sypha and James making out.
Next up: Dragon Age!
----
The first entry in this series revolves around The Sims 3, which first came out in the summer of 2009 (though an number of expansion packs have also been released for it every few months or so). The game lets you build houses, and also create people/families to inhabit said houses. Like most of the Sims games, there are no real goals: it's more like playing with a giant digital doll house. As you can imagine, I've had quite a bit of fun with this game. Maybe too much fun, as the screenshots below will show.
Sypha & James
One of the first characters I created was Sypha Nadon. In this variation of the character, I gave him a kind of Gothic wardrobe, along with an Adam Lambert-styled hairdo. Not to mention heart-warming puppy eyes.
Next I decided that Sypha needed a house. So I built him one. In this screenshot, it's in the lower left hand corner, the one with the trees with the pink leaves in the front yard.
Of course, it would be boring for poor Sypha to live by himself. So I decided to give him a roommate (and potential love interest). In other words, I created a version of myself and placed him into the game. Here you can see me reading a book on a somewhat flashy-looking sofa.
Over time, the two men bonded. Above we see Sypha offering James a drink. James would apparently rather stare into the distance and brood.
Finally, one day in the park, they revealed their feelings to each other.
One thing led to another, and before you knew it...
They eventually consummated their relationship.
When I first started playing as Sypha and James, I used a money cheat so they could buy all the stuff they wanted without having to worry about getting jobs. Eventually I decided to put them to work though. James gets some money by writing books, while Sypha works as a stylist and fashion designer. Not all his makeovers are a success, though, as the above screenshot proves.
Whenever Sypha's not working (or having sex with James) he can often be found designing fashion outfits at his work desk.
Sypha demonstrates the gayest way to throw a football. Though to be fair all the characters in the game throw footballs like that.
I kind of like this tranquil screenshot of Sypha reading at the beach at sunset.
When you create a character in The Sims 3, aside from deciding on their appearance and what clothes they wear you can also assign them favorite foods, favorite colors, favorite music, an astrological sign, and three traits: the three traits I gave Sypha were neat, flirty, and over-emotional, as the above and below screenshots portrays (Sypha going into a hissy fit at the park about something or other).
Sypha Nadon in his underwear. Not really a whole lot more to say.
And what the hell, here's a picture of Sypha in the buff. Sadly, the game digitally blurs the genitals. So it's kind of like Japanese porn I guess.
Sypha and James' Wedding
Recently, I decided the time had come for James and Sypha to get married (yes, in The Sims 3 sims engaged in same-sex relationships can get married just like heterosexual ones).
After Sypha proposed and James accepted, they held a wedding party. A number of guests were invited, and rings were exchanged, making them officially husband and husband. After the guests had left, the two celebrated by skinny dipping in the pool behind their house. But I'll let you use your imaginations for that.
Other Characters
The Sims 3 is set in an idyllic town known as Sunset Valley. When you first start the game, this town consists of both empty houses, or houses populated by computer-created characters. Therefore, it's up to the player to populate the town with his or her own creations (though I guess if they were lazy, they could just play as the computer characters). One of the great things about The Sims 3 is that the characters have free will and can live out their lives without your direction or control needed. For example, if you switch from playing one household to another, the household you were just playing as will still continue going on with their lives. As a result, it can be surprising when you go back to a household you previously played as and see what they've gotten up to outside of your supervision.
Sypha & James were the first household I created, but not the only one. As the years have gone by I've slowly built up my town's population. One of my other favorite households to play as is the “Brant household.”
James Brant & Friends
The picture above is that of James Brant, another character I created. He lives in a big house a few blocks away from James and Sypha. He works in the medical field, hoping to become a doctor. He's kind of a hipster, as you can tell by his stupid glasses.
Brant lives with three other roommates. Here they can be seen in the living room/kitchen of their house, playing video games. From left to right is Steve Hunter, Daryl White, and Max Steiner, with Brant himself on the far right. Steve, Daryl and Max work as firemen. These four also have a band, named simply “The Firemen,” with Brant playing guitar, Steve on bass, Max on drums, and Daryl on keyboards. They kind of suck though.
This is Veronica Akita. She's kind of a goth-punk girl, as you can tell. Brant's in love with her, but they have yet to start up a relationship.
In the above screenshot, we can see Max in the park, chatting up Daphne Moon (from the TV show Frasier). Daphne is Steve's girlfriend (though Steve also has a crush on Sypha Nadon).
The Brant household is well-known for throwing big parties. In the foreground we can see Sypha and Daphne playing video games, while Veronica sits in between them, clearly intrigued.
Daryl isn't the brightest bulb in the box. Here we see him deciding to take a shower with his clothes still on.
This is another hipster-ish character, Anthony Nido, here seen conversing with Max and James Brant. I don't play as him very often, though. I think he's kind of cute.
I eventually started to populate the city with the casts of TV shows I like, such as Frasier and, in the screenshot above, Friends. Maybe I should make the cast of Glee one day.
Here's Steve Urkel from Family Matters.
Above, we can see American Psycho's Patrick Bateman relaxing in his expensive penthouse apartment, no doubt planning on what to do that evening: try to get into one of the city's exclusive new night clubs, perhaps?
Here's Luigi, Mario, and Princess Toadstool outside of their house.
What's a town without a monster? Here's a character I created named Mr. Monster, who bears an uncanny resemblance to the Incredible Hulk.
I even created Peter Sotos. Here we see him hard at work on his newest book.
Here we see Sotos entering the park on a beautiful and sunny day, enjoying a pleasant stroll.
Sotos is one of those households that I don't play as all that often. So it can be surprising for me when I take control of him again to see what's he been up to. Apparently, at one point where I wasn't controlling him, he got a job with the fire department. In the above photo, we can see him clowning around with Max at the fire station.
Sotos makes a dashing entrance (literally) into James & Sypha's wedding.
Like all computer games, The Sims 3 has bugs and glitches. Here's a character I created where all you can see of him is the head and feet. This can lead to some amusing animations, such as when he pours himself a drink and the glass appears to float of its own accord, or when he eats, as can be seen in the below video.
Speaking of glitches, here's another one: the game decided to clone Anthony Nido at one point (I had the same problem with Mario).
I didn't create this character. He's a computer-controlled non-player character who appears in the game's China world. I thought he was pretty cute though so I took a screenshot of him.
That's an unusual spot to keep a baby.
Nice parking job!
Two More Sypha & James videos
Sypha tried his hand at snake charming while vacationing in Egypt.
Sypha and James making out.
Next up: Dragon Age!
----
*
p.s. Hey. Sypha, whose guest-posts are always posts for the ages, has a total doozy and display of wonderment for us this weekend, you surely must agree, as well as the first volley is a great new series for the blog. Please spend some of your weekend learning about his special world and learning even more by talking to him about it. Thanks! And all the thanks in the world to you, Sypha the Creator! Now, today I finally get to announce a project I've been working on behind the scenes for a while. To wit, on June 10th and running for three weekends at the project space/art gallery Five Years in London, there will be an art exhibition curated by yours truly. It's called, funnily enough, 'The Weaklings', and the reason it has that rather familiar sounding title is because it will feature work by some artists who are associated with this blog as d.l.s and/or contributors. The line up: Bill Hsu, C.L. Martin (Killer Luka), Alex Rose, OB De Alessi (Oscar B), Michael Salerno (Kiddiepunk), Esther Planas, Marc Hulson (Tender Prey), Emma Wolf (Wolf), Joel Westendorf, Jonathan Mayhew (Bollo), Steven Purtill (MANCY), Math Tinder, Jared Pappas-Kelley (Scunnard), Daniel Portland, Kier Cooke Sandvik, and JW Veldhoen. There will an opening event on the 10th, tentatively featuring performances by OD De Alessi and Esther Planas. I'll be telling more about it as we get closer to the event, and I hope those of you in and around London might mark your calendars and be there. ** David Ehrenstein, Hey. Nice, very thorough and informative FaBlog post about Arthur Laurent. I knew his name vaguely, but I didn't realize that he was behind so much prominent stuff. Kudos. ** Jeff, Hey, Jeff. Oh, it's okay, and no problem, man. I'm really glad to see you. I'm pretty sure you'll really like 'TSB', which I'm finishing today. It's pretty awesome, no surprise at all. ** Tosh, Hey, Tosh. Thanks! It's coming. ** Patrick deWitt, The man of the hour or rather of 24 hours or rather of eternity! I'm glad you thought the post turned out okay. And super nice add with the contest. You so rock. And I'm really, really happy that 'TMS' is okay with you. Thanks a ton, man. That's a billion chirping birds to my ears. Wait, I guess a billion might be a bit too many. You know what I mean. All respect and all congrats to you, mister! What movie did you see? ** Bernard Welt, Congrats on winning a book. You have 'Luna, okay, good. Those tons of films on file would be, yes, most welcome and more if you have room in your suitcase's hard drive. ** Sypha, Today really is fucking amazing, man. Thank you! I thought there probably had been a 'CP' movie. I think it must have been a flop or awful. That is one gruesome sentence right there, yes. Enjoy the webcam. What are you doing with it? Well, I mean, if you can say. ** L@rstonovich, As great as Patrick's book and 'Drop Edge ... 'are, there's plenty o' room left for your Western. Screwed, not. ** Math, Congrats on winning a book! I think June is my only window to go to LA, but I'll see what I can do, but July is definitely out. Anyway, you're already in LA right now, aren't you? ** Dusty rose, Hi, Dusty. Oh, sucks about the computer shit. It's fine on my end, though, because mine is so barely alive and in its death throes that I'll need my new computer -- arriving on Monday, they say -- to even access what you send. Hugs on the mutual computer deaths. Poor things. I hope you're doing great otherwise, man. ** Heliotrope, Hi, Mark! Yeah, the last time I saw Sid was at a Long Ryders show in Amsterdam in 1986, so no surprise that he didn't know I'm over here. I didn't know he was only a channel away. I'd love to see the guy, so I hope he and I can connect. Art Fein, wow, that's a name I haven't dwelled upon for a while. Interesting. Yikes, about your friend. You're good. I'm pretty positive I saw Rick Gretsch play with Family unless he wasn't in the band by that point. But I saw Family pretty early on the first time, so I'm pretty sure I did. He was killer, obviously, and you should go find a torrent of 'Music From A Doll's House' for all sorts of reasons. So you do remember Ernest Angely! Those were the days. i.e. when TV evangelists were just incredibly entertaining weirdos who kept whatever far right politics they had to themselves. Love to you and the J. ** Pilgarlic, Well, too much hassle for the worth of it, I'm sure, but you might find specializing eyes seeking rare CDs and vinyl, etc. on eBay and all that. Don't give away everything. When my mom moved out of our family home in the early 90s, I just let most of my thousands of records go, and I'm still bashing myself about my lack of access to its highlights. Nice Beryl story. He deserves his own comic strip a la Marmaduke, clearly. ** Nicki, Well, howdy-do there, my dear friend! Gosh, it's nice to see you. I'm of course really sorry to hear about the split. I hope that at least it's one of those things that's for the best in some way. I'm really sorry, pal. Do try not to be a stranger around here unless you need to, in which case, I understand, and do use the always open door at your leisure because I love surprises when they're shaped like you. ** Wolf, Dude, you could do a whole lot worse than International House of Pancakes if you weren't a vegan. In fact, hm, maybe I'll write a novel using IHoP's system as my ... structuring ... Holy shit, what a great idea! ** Chris Stamm, Whoa, Chris, hey! Man, I haven't seen you in ages! Awfully good of you to pop in here. And, yeah, I'm with you on Patrick's book, obviously. If you have sec, how are you? What's going on? Etc.? ** _Black_Acrylic, Big congrats on the apartment find, Ben. What a relief. Furniture-wise, do your parents have an attic that could come in handy? Anyway, yeah, great! When do you get to move in? ** Misanthrope, Congrats on using your smarts or google or both to get that book, man. That thing about your grandma and Little Show and the nickname really almost made me cry. My lips wobbled and everything. Man, that's so sad. Love to you, big one. ** The Dreadful Flying Glove, Well, as a Fahey lover, I would recommend trying the earlier work, which, yes, in my opinion, is the main and real deal. Your mentioning Clarence White makes me want to dig out those later Byrds albums. I never seem to listen to the post-'Sweetheart of the Rodeo' albums anymore. Hm, I should do some sort of Byrds Day, actually. *Scribble* I don't think I know James Blackshaw. Curious. I'll hunt down what I can find of his to check out. Yeah, Peter Rehberg was telling me about the beard in his amused and amusing fashion. That's not an effect that I would imagine living in Japan would have on one. But then again. ** Steevee, Yeah, that seems quite rude if nothing else to me, for sure. Maybe it was some kind of bonding, 'you are one of us' kind of gesture? Count on me to ferret around until I find a bright side, ha ha. ** Bollo, How disappointing that it was typo. Not that I'm blaming you, and, yes, let's popularize the hell out of it,. But how? I'll figure something out if you will. Got your email. Expect one in return. ** Ken Baumann, Hi, Ken! I'll try to make it work. I want to see him when I go to LA anyway. He's probably a fan of yours. What do you want to bet? ** Chris Cochrane, Okay, so your gig is today, right? Blow them the fuck away! That's an order! And do a Fugazi cover! That's an order! Flaming Lips are going to perform the 'Soft Bulletin' album in a graveyard in Los Angeles in June, which is the only reason why my delayed LA trip is looking sunny. Of course, I remember David Linton. I think he's a Facebook friend of mine even. Tell me how that multimedia droney thing of his is, okay? Break a leg, merde, and with some love on top. Yikes! ** MANCY, Hey, man. I'll be writing to you this weekend to nail stuff down. Whenever I've seen New Pornographers live, it's been joy incarnate. Their last two albums have not been entirely God, but their first three are as good as anything in the world ever gets, IMHO. ** Inthemostpeculiarway, It's true that I might have caught Michael Pitt at a bad time. It was at the premiere of 'Finding Forrester'. It was him, Gus, Danny Elfman, and me. Danny Elfman was being really, really exuberant and hyper. Maybe MP was bugged by that. It was pretty intense. 'Heaven' is maybe my favorite story in there too! I'm checking the Night of the Museums schedule today. We'll see. Yeah, you're absolutely right that I will probably watch 'Thor' on a plane flight. I just moved the meter on my 'chances I'll see this' gauge over the 50% mark. Is your friend who got laid the same friend who had the new guy who was better looking than his photo? That guy who got in the car with you does sound kind of annoying. Isn't it great how the bowls of tortilla chips in Mexican restaurants can come to rescue of awful or awkward lunch or dinner conversations? One more reason to always eat Mexican food. Yeah, between that guy and your sleepiness, that was rough, man. For you, obviously, but the evidence was very nice to read, so all was not lost. I hope you got some sleep last night. My day: Hm. I'm blanking. Oh, I worked on that no longer secret project aka the London art show, doing email with the artists, looking at their work, selecting things, talking to Marc/Tender on the phone and other things of that nature. Kiddiepunk, Oscar, and I went to the Jeu de Paume. There were three shows. One was this show of things that were mapping out Paris in some heavily conceptual way or something. I didn't like it. Oscar did, and Kiddiepunk was sort of 'I don't know'. Then there was this installation that was a bunch of people sitting on chairs reading Homer's 'The Odyssey', and you walked around them looking at them and stuff, and they would look up at you briefly with an expression on their faces that I couldn't decode. That was, I don't, fun, I guess. The last show was a bunch of video installations by this Dutch artist Aernout Mik in which he had people stage events that look totally real. Like a war, in one case, and some sort of trial of Berlusconi, and others. I thought it was really fascinating, and I spent a long time looking at them. I think O&K liked them too, and after we left, it was kind of druggy because it seemed for a while like everyone on the streets and on the metro were just staging everything they were doing, so it had a strong effect. After that, they came back here, and, after getting money at the ATM and buying some food, so did I. I did more of the art show stuff, and I worked on some other stuff that I mentioned yesterday, and then I ate dinner and stuff. Yury called to say he was going out for drinks with his co-workers. I watched some kind of French 'Survivor' type show where it's real life families competing in the wilderness instead of set-up tribes. It was whatever, but I kept watching it until I snoozed. That was Friday. Please give me the low down on your weekend, man, and I'll do the same. ** Robin, Hey, Robin! What a rare treat this is! Hi! Old baby, ha ha. Weird image. I'm happy for you that your tits are starting to get a rest. Awesome about your trip! I'll be in London for, like, three or four days for the art show I mentioned up top, so I'll probably not be here in Paris, oh, like, the 8th through the 10th, coming back here on the 11th. Something like that. But I'll be here for the rest of the first part of June, so, yeah, I hope you guys can come here not during those three or four days. Possible? I sure would love with a capital 'L' to see you! ** Okay. Please continue with your weekends now in the company of Sypha and his gayed up game. Enjoy, be well, speak/type, and I'll see you on Monday.
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