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INTERVIEWER
You’ve recently finished a ninth novel, The Marbled Steak.
DENNIS COOPER
It’s The Marbled Swarm.
INTERVIEWER
That’s right. I must be getting hungry. Anyway, I know that novelists hate this question, but what would you say it’s about?
DENNIS COOPER
Oh, man, that’s hard. Uh, it’s about the way a 22-year-old French guy talks. But it has chateaus and mansions full of secret passages that may or may not exist, and unsolved murders that may or may not have occurred, and scenes of gnarly, preciously described violence and strange sex, and lots of offstage cannibalism, and it’s very confusing, and it makes total sense after you’ve read it about 15 times, and... in other words, it’s going to be The Da Vinci Code of this year.
INTERVIEWER
So cannibalism is a motif. Are you interested in accounts of real-life cannibalism?
DENNIS COOPER
The story that really got to me was the one last year about that guy on the cross-country bus in Canada who just suddenly stabbed this young guy sitting next to him into smithereens then beheaded him and cut off parts of his face and ate them and put other uneaten pieces in his pockets to have as snacks later. Did you hear about that story?
INTERVIEWER
No, but thanks, you’ve officially killed my appetite. Was your novel inspired by stories of that kind?
DENNIS COOPER
I originally started writing The Marbled Swarm because I had this weird idea that I would like to eat this Russian porn star named Chris. But I didn’t know him, obviously, and he didn’t die, as far as I know, and I’m not as creepy as my imagination gets sometimes, so it never happened.
INTERVIEWER
Not to Chris, but how many Russian porn stars have you eaten over the years?
DENNIS COOPER
I’ve been a vegetarian (lacto-ovo) since I was 16.
INTERVIEWER
I’ve known that about you, of course, but many of your readers might be surprised to learn that. It doesn’t necessarily fit your literary image.
DENNIS COOPER
The first time I met John Waters, he invited me for lunch at his house in Baltimore. I hadn’t thought to warn him, and it was a nightmare at first because, only knowing my work, he cleverly and sweetly served me steak tartare. But I managed to save myself and him embarrassment by telling him if it were River Phoenix, I would eat it.
INTERVIEWER
To return to The Marble Cake–
DENNIS COOPER
I like cake. Don’t you? Cake with a scoop of vanilla ice cream. And with a dollop of hot fudge on top if possible.
INTERVIEWER
The Marbled Swarm, I mean. I see it was a mistake to skip lunch before this interview. To answer your question, icing makes me a little queasy.
DENNIS COOPER
Me, I want a cake made entirely of icing with a little layer of cake on the surface. I hope I didn’t just make you nauseous.
INTERVIEWER
That would be an inverted cupcake, wouldn’t it?
DENNIS COOPER
I was just thinking yesterday about how cupcakes are the sublime in miniature.
INTERVIEWER
That’s a popular view. More popular than ever these days, at least in the States. I seem to be the only one who has a problem with icing.
DENNIS COOPER
(shaking his head) “Icing is disgusting”?! What next?
INTERVIEWER
I’ll go even further, and this may shock you. I don’t like marzipan.
DENNIS COOPER
Dude, marzipan when you’re stoned, I’m telling you. Of course it’s always possible that my brain damage is telling you that. In any case, it’s a cheap date, and what’s the worst that could happen?
INTERVIEWER
Personally, in that condition, I prefer pancakes.
DENNIS COOPER
Apropos of almost nothing, the next time you’re around someone who has overeaten to the point of misery and borderline nausea, and if you want to make them vomit for either cruel or benevolent reasons, try this line: “You know what I'd really love to eat right now? A big stack of buckwheat pancakes with butter just oozing out.” I learned that trick when I was a kid. It works every time.
INTERVIEWER
At the moment, it’s just whetting my appetite.
DENNIS COOPER
You have to be in the mood, for sure, but pancakes, grr, slurp, sigh. I think I’ll have a crepe today.
INTERVIEWER
That’s the closest equivalent here, right? You must miss out on certain comfort foods living in Paris.
DENNIS COOPER
You can’t find iced tea anywhere in Paris (and possibly in France in general) except at the Hard Rock Café, which is surely why I’ve tried to coerce every local and visiting friend into dining there with me. Well, and their nachos are tolerable as well.
INTERVIEWER
Really? Not Les Deux Magots? In the food capital of the world–and cultural capital, I’ll add–you’re drawn to the Hard Rock Café?
DENNIS COOPER
Where else are you going to get up close and personal with the halter top that Lita Ford wore in her “blah blah” video, I ask you?
INTERVIEWER
But to bring a visiting guest there.... Can’t you just make your boyfriend go with you?
DENNIS COOPER
Yury only eats fruit and soy yogurt. That’s literally all he eats. Is that a Russian thing?
INTERVIEWER
I wouldn’t know. By the way, did you know you can make ice tea at home? You just need some tea bags, and boiling water, and ice.
DENNIS COOPER
Foodwise, I have no patience as far as preparation goes. So cooking is laborious to me. I make pasta sometimes. But mostly, I just put different things inside bread and change the condiments sometimes, and that’s about it.
INTERVIEWER
I’m hungry enough that the Hard Rock is sounding good to me too right now. I do like nachos. But only with a large cup of Diet Coke.
DENNIS COOPER
I hate Coke and all carbonated drinks. Even Perrier, etc. I don’t know why. Some childhood trauma, I guess.
INTERVIEWER
That’s interesting. We seem to be getting farther and farther off-topic, as it were, and I’m not sure how much of this we’re going to be able to use, but as we’ve been talking about your favorite foods so much, I feel I’d be remiss not to ask what your least favorite is.
DENNIS COOPER
Hm. Well, I’m not going to pick a meat item since I’m a vegetarian and that would be cheating, so.... Either asparagus, yams/sweet potatoes, or beets. I can’t choose between those three utterly vile, supposedly edible items.
INTERVIEWER
That’s unfortunate, since asparagus is in season at the moment.
DENNIS COOPER
I hate asparagus. It’s one of my food enemies. Cooked carrots are too.
INTERVIEWER
Have you had asparagus prepared in Paris? It’s an entirely different dish from what you’re used to in the States.
DENNIS COOPER
While I maintain an open mind, I’ve tried asparagus in any number of forms, and I just don’t like it. Can’t explain it. If you can cure me on that front and the cooked carrots front someday, please do. I like carrot cake.
INTERVIEWER
You seem to prefer your vegetables in the form of cake. That’s a little unexpected in a vegetarian. Are you sure it’s healthy?
DENNIS COOPER
I’ve been told all my life there there were big potential health problems associated with a longterm vegetarian diet, but, apart from an iron deficiency a few years ago that got quickly solved with supplements, I’ve never had any ill effects whatsoever.
INTERVIEWER
But, I mean.... You could get your iron from beets, for instance. But then you said you don’t like beets.
DENNIS COOPER
I don’t mind borscht so much, although I think when I’ve had it, I put a bunch of stuff in it to mellow out the taste a bit. But beets? No sir. The beet is the liver of the vegetable world to me.
INTERVIEWER
It could be argued, I suppose, that appetite in its various forms is one of the central themes that drive your fiction.
DENNIS COOPER
I once ate about six, pizza-embedded cockroaches before realizing they weren’t strange-tasting olives.
INTERVIEWER
I’m trying to think of how to bring this discussion around to asses. My editor asked me to get you to talk about asses.
DENNIS COOPER
A friend once baked me a cake in the shape of an ass. Being a good friend who was well aware of my favorite variety of asses, he made it a sheet cake.
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*
p.s. Hey. So, I feel shy and so on about introducing this post, and hence I'll just give my heartfelt thanks to its fine, devilish creator Alan. ** Jeff, Thanks. ** David Ehrenstein, Oh, so harsh, ha ha. I see some fun in there. For me, various levels, from mild to problematic, of slump set in when Scorcese fell in love with DiCaprio, but now that he's going to do it with De Niro again, I'm hoping for ... I don't know. I'll go check out your FaBinLaden as soon as I get out of here. Everyone, the masterful David Ehrenstein has gone all David Ehrenstein on the Bin Laden saga over at FaBlog, and that's your cue to click. ** Bernard Welt, I'm assuming the porn star is a star you wouldn't mind being porn's finishing touches in league with. I'm sure you made the right, tough decision. Cool and hugs and so on and more about the possible Days, of course, old buddy. ** Alan, Thanks, you know, again and a lot for today, obviously, and, you know, yeah. Yeah, with those movies, I think you have to want the empty thrill. And you have to like to parse emptiness or ruminate on what it can and can't do, what it can contain successfully in terms of actual content, ideas, emotion and so on and what just ends up creating a spanner in the works, etc., and find interest in directors' and effects designers' attempts to ace the form and outdo it. For whatever reason, I dig doing that, I guess. Yeah, I told the real Ziggy about 'Try', and he went out and bought/read it, and he said he really liked it, but his girlfriend of the time was pissed off and wanted him to sue me for defamation or something. ** Andrew, Yeah, Cracked. I used to read Cracked Magazine when I was a kid even though back then it was always kind of a less good Mad Magazine. But the Cracked site is really ace. ** Sypha, Hey. I feel like that about 'Brazil' and "Withnail and I' and, gosh, a bunch. ** Bill, Hi, Bill. That's true and the sound design and music, yeah. I don't why I just get into getting into the slight differences. Strange. Wow, you actually read the Potter books or part of them? Wait, a lot of cool people I know have. I guess maybe I'm like you are about blockbuster movies but about blockbuster books or something? ** Schoolboyerrors, Oh, mental blocks are okay. They've even interesting to hear about. I get them once in while when writing the p.s., and I just have to fake it, and if people notice the difference, they're too polite to say so. Tattoo sleeve? What kind of sleeve? Yeah, spill when its good and spilt if not prior to. ** Wolf, Hey. Cool, you engaged with the movie thing. I have a bad feeling about 'The Thing' re-remake. 'Immortals' is all about Singh to me. Seeing what he does with 100 or whatever million dollars and blockbuster pressure. 'District 9', hm, I think it's still on. I'll find out. Salt, if I really must. Oh, only 5 hours, and that cheap? On the train thing? Okay, I think I'm in. 8 am is scary, but I can handle that. Yeah, I'm definitely in on the train thing if that's true. Fun! Blockbuster! ** Math, Hey. I actually don't go see films here as often I want to or say I'm going to. Not even close to how often I do in LA. In LA, I see movies the theater almost every week, and I would probably see every one of those blockbusters if I were there and on opening night no less. Movie prices are okay here. Less than in the States by a bit. You're right, I meant Macbook Pro. That's what I'm getting. ** Thomas Moronic, Hey, T. Sucks a lot about your dead internet or comatose internet more like. I think Michael was looking at suits for his wedding yesterday too, so that's interesting. I was looking at my holey organic white t-shirts and wondering which was the most festively raggedy and holed. Thanks about 'Jerk/TTT". Questions anytime, of course. ** A.r., Hey, Alex! As soon as I get through my busy day today, meaning scary Love Magazine photo session and interview plus Liturgy concert later, I'll be directly in touch. I really, really, really want to read that Van Verwoerts book. That's #1 on my list. Love right back to you. ** Bollo, Headaches are going around over here. I think it's the pollen? You must have serious pollen over there if that's not me just perpetuating an Irish stereotype where nature is green and everywhere and kingly. ** The Dreadful Flying Glove, Thanks for the movie talk, man. I have this feeling I'll see the PotC movie just and only to complete the set. Thanks about my new computer thing. We'll see, if it ever gets here. I really need a new one. It's not even a choice anymore. When you type here, my typing here lights up like your typing was Michael Jackson's shoes in the 'Billie Jean' or something weird like that. Yes, I love Gigs. I would love more Gigs. I'm into the Gigs thing right now. As many as possible. So, yes! ** L@rstonovich, Hey, man! A true pleasure! Yeah, of course I remember you talking about your mentor. That's totally awesome that you reconnected. See, Facebook has its values. I keep trying to hunt down old friends mine there too, but they don't seem to have lapsed into that particular Facebook grooviness thing. Ha ha, 'creepy great', I'll accept that. Nice. Yeah, that's really nice, man. I can really feel the stokedness. Thanks for the tip on the Lethem/Carpenter book. I bet I can find it and other Deep Focus books here in Paris somewhere. Sounds very cool. What else is up and going on with you, man? ** Steevee, Hi, Steve. The Edgar Broughton Band, wow, yeah, sure. I think I have some of their vinyl in LA, but I haven't creased their stuff in ages. I remember it being kind of second tier, or that it seemed so to me back then, but it's interesting how hindsight can gloss over details. I think I'll go try to find something by them on youtube. Thanks, man. ** Pisycaca, Hi, Montse! Yeah, the new laptop thing will be nice. Well, more than nice. You can't tell, but this one would be singing 'Daisy' like Hal in '2001' if its volume controls weren't so fucked up. I have kind of a hectic month too. Fingers crossed for both of us. Love, me. ** _Black_Acrylic, Hi, Ben. Yeah, I guess that apartment thing is starting to sound kind of sleazy. Friends generally know best and all that. I'll reorient my vibes that are shaped like success and hurl them at Wednesday and whatever you look at. ** Popzeus, Thanks, man. I'm sorry to hear about the mild crisis. Limber/ mischievous is so important, isn't it? That's such a good way to put it. I'm pretty much totally clean now except for cigarettes and coffee, and there do seem to be these things and occasions in the clarified world out there that do the tweaking and jack-in-the-box effect thing that one needs. It's weird, interesting. Anyway, I'll try to find them and put them here so you can see them. Take care, Pz. ** Ken Baumann, Ken! Well, that's quite a few movies you're going to see. I'll be lucky (well, maybe) if I end up in a seat in front of that many. I thought there was something odd and curious going on in the texture and vibe or something of the '300'-like stuff in that trailer, but I might be letting hope get the best of me. Yeah, I read one interview with Bay where he was all, like, this is the one. Figured it out. Got rid of the tone problem. Etc. I'm there. That's all I know. Can't wait to compare notes or diatribes. ** Chris Cochrane, Geezer Young, yeah, that's a bit ... well, yeah. Ben has heard nothing back ... from Serge/ Pompidou? If that's what you mean, I don't think that's necessarily a problem. It's only been a few days, I'm doing what I can. Oh, letter from Ben, okay, yeah, I'll go open it in a short while. Pretty good reviews on that Fleet Foxes. Interested to hear it. Darker or something, I hear. Usually a good thing. ** Caleb, Hey, Caleb! Oh, it was nothing but an honor to house. Obviously, I dug it with great thoroughness. The Herzog hasn't opened here yet, which is very strange since, you know, it takes place here, and it seems to be playing everywhere else in Europe. I'm thinking maybe they're going to wait and do some big thing around it or something here. I'm craving it, though. I check the listings constantly. Have you seen it? How is it? ** Misanthrope, G-man. Email with coordinates coming today or in the morning tomorrow. Yes! I can't do hats either. Never. People say it's because I have a big head. I mean, big technically. And hats turn it into a balloon or something. ** I'm done early. Be with Alan please. I'll see you guys tomorrow.
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