Last week as I was leaving Wal-Mart there was this group that had a table set up outside the doors who were selling stuff. This actually happens pretty often. The banner on the table said “Teen Women’s Christian Ministry” and they were selling necklaces and bracelets and other stuff with crosses and crucifixes on them along with some other homemade God and Jesus stuff.
Now, I would say that about 75% of the stuff that is sold on tables outside the doors of Wal-Mart is pretty similar to this. Some Christian group or a local church or whatever is selling something that they’ve made to raise funds for their organization. I’m totally cool with it as long as they aren’t rude or pushy about it.
One time, many years ago when I was living in Springfield, MO I encountered a mother and daughter team that was selling homemade paintings of Jesus on plates and pieces of wood that they had made. It was actually pretty nice stuff. But, as I was leaving the store the mom asked if I would like to buy anything I turned to her and said “I’m sorry, but I really can’t because I lost my job and don’t have any extra money at all.”
Now, it helps that I normally dress like a homeless person so I can pull this off in both good times and bad. The problem is that it was a lie. I just didn’t want to say “no” so I made up some bullshit. To which both mom and daughter both said “Oh I’m so sorry! Bless your heart young man. We’ll both pray for you.”
I thanked them and went on to my car. Then I started feeling really bad. I totally didn’t deserved their blessings or prayers at all. I was such a fucking fraud. And worse than that I didn’t get out of the car and go back and be honest with them or anything. I still get mad at myself for doing this. I decided that day that I would never do anything like that again. I would either just say “no” or be 100% honest with people in that same position.
So this past week, when the sweet high school girl approached me about buying something, I looked at the banner on that table and said “Oh no, I’m sorry. See, I’m opposed to teen women’s ministries because if teen girls join them, they’ll have better morals. Aaaand, if they have better morals they’ll stop posting pics of themselves in their skivvies or even naked on the internet. Which would suck.”
Was that wrong? Should I have not been honest with her like that?
Oh I’m kidding! Sheesh, people. I wouldn’t say anything like that. Oh sure I might have thought it, but I didn’t say it.
Actually I told her that I didn’t have any cash and couldn’t. She then blessed me and all that stuff again. I then got back to my car and thought about the fact that I actually DID have cash on me. So once again I got blessed by someone after lying to them.
I’m so going to hell.
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