I received an email from a man, former LDS bishop of a family friend, a few weeks ago that stunned me. I am honestly still too flabbergasted to respond to him.
...I'm afraid others might misconstrue my question as being other than a sincere question... I understand your concern with what you believe to be the Mormon Church's anti-gay stance. But what I don't understand, is if Proposition 8 had gone favorably toward gay marriage, how would that help gays not contract aids? Is this a dumb, rude or ignorant question? If it is I'm sorry.
Honestly, how does one respond to that question? Is it a dumb, rude and ignorant question? Umm... horrifyingly so. So much so that I cannot possibly respond to him with anything but - are you fucking kidding me? But I can't say that because, admittedly, I now feel held hostage by his niceness and sincerity. Or maybe I just feel sorry for him. Or maybe the anger the question triggers in me is so huge that I have to dismiss it before I allow it to burn the poor guy alive. Or maybe all the above.
But now I have my own questions. Is it okay to mask bigotry and ignorance in niceness? Does that suddenly make it okay? Ignorance is just a cry for education, right? There are plenty of things about which I am embarrassingly ignorant - so many things I don't know that I absolutely should. It should be easy to just reply with a friendly, "Sweetie, AIDS stopped being a gay disease about 20+ years ago. Condoms and responsibility are what help ALL sexually active people not contract AIDS - not just the gays. Thanks for asking." But I can't. This is far too much of an emotional trigger for me. It was that level of ignorance in making and passing laws about basic human rights that made so many of us so angry about Prop 8.
Is it really that hard to think something through and come to an obvious and logical answer? Sadly, for many - including myself, sometimes the answer is yes. I didn't really even know how to truly think for myself, on most topics, until 7-ish years ago. I either looked to what my church taught about it or I just dismissed it. Too much in my life didn't make sense - thinking about it all just made me feel crazier than I already did. But the ability to think is a gift. The ability to stretch and challenge one's mind is something too many of us leave sitting on the dashboard alongside our hula dolls, roach clips and Garfield toys.
Like I said, there are many facts about politics, math, science, geography, history and the workings of the world I live in that I absolutely should know but don't. I have given cause for others to look at me many a time and ask, "Are you fucking kidding me?" I'm doing the best I can, shouldn't I allow others the same? Of course.
But, when it comes to gay marriage causing AIDS or a black president causing an increase in basketball and watermelon consumption - shouldn't we be doing better?
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