Upping The Danger At The Olympics ...

So, as you probably know by now, a luger from Georgia (the country, not the US state) was tragically killed in practice over the weekend at the Olympics.  He lost control of his sled and went flying off the track and slammed into a steal beam that was not padded or even protected by a net or anything like that.  If you haven't seen the video, you're not trying.  It's been shown over and over again.  There are also many slide shows showing us the moment-by-moment crash and even some close ups of the CPR being performed.

This got me to thinking that upping the danger is a great way for the Olympics to create more interest in their sports activities.  Hey, it's always worked for NASCAR.  After going almost a decade without killing anyone on the track, NASCAR has made the decision to allow the drivers to be more aggressive and "mix it up" a bit*.  The Olympics should too.

So, here are some ideas to increase the chances for death and carnage at the Olympics, done in the same spirit as Avitable's ways of making the Super Bowl more exiting, only with more bloodshed...

- Trap doors on the ice skating rink.  These doors would open unexpectedly and occasionally a figure skater will fall down a 100 foot deep shaft. 

Speaking of figure skaters, don't you think it would be even more fun if the female skaters had to do some work on the stripper pole too?  Yeah, I agree.  It would


- Make the gates on the downhill skiing slope IEDs.  You hit one and go Ka-Boom!

- Place an explosive target on the net behind the goalie in hockey.  Hit the target with the puck and .... you guessed it ....Ka-Boom!

- Add a jump to the slalom.  The skiers have to jump over a moat full of alligators who haven't been fed in three days.

- The cross country skiers have to carry 5 lbs of raw meat with them while they ski through wolf and bear country.

- During the shooting portion of the biathlon, and instead of shooting at targets, they have to shoot at homicidal maniacs rushing towards them wielding machetes.

- In the skiing moguls, on the last jump, one of the three ramps will actually launch the skiier into outer space and they will eventually land in Wasilla, Alaska and have to spend the rest of the Olympics with the Palins.

- Instead of holding hands while skating, the ice dancers will have special handcuffs on that will cut their hands off if they become separated.

- While the short track speed skaters are flying around the ice, there are rodeo cowboys on the inside with ropes trying to lasso them.

- At some point on the bobsled course, another bobsled driven by a little old lady will suddenly merge onto the course in front of the competitors and they'll have to avoid her without crashing.

- During the freestyle aerials, a skier's competitors get to throw tomatoes at them while they're airborne.

- The losers of the curling event have to line up like bowling pins and the winners get to take turns trying to knock them all down withe the curling stone.

- The ski jumpers have to land on an island surrounded by molten lava.

- Put a cover over the freestyle skiing events with spikes on the ceiling in case any of the skiers get too much height on their jumps.


For other events set up various booby traps and give competitors a variety of semi-automatic weapons to keep things interesting.





*This post was written before the Daytona 500, so any deaths during the Great American Race™ are purely coincidental.