Hanging With The Family ..

As you probably know, last Sunday we all went over to Yellville to attend my Nana Creta’s 90th birthday celebration. For some reason I was really dreading this. I had this odd sense of impending doom. Okay, so I always have that going, but the force was really strong with this one.

Funny thing about my family is that I don’t really know most of them. Sure, I know my grandmother and aunts and uncles and their kids. But, for the most part my cousin’s kids and other family members probably couldn’t pick me out of a police lineup, and vice versa. This is made all the more odd by the fact that most all of us live right here in a small, rural area. Of course the benefit to this is I can flip off someone in traffic without worrying that they will go home and say “You know what my cousin Jay did to me to today?”

Anyway, we get there and as my sister Kell, her husband Al, Cosette the dog and I are walking around the back of my aunt and uncle’s house (it’s easier to enter from the backdoor and avoid the stairs) I see six people hanging out on the back porch. Two aunts, a cousin, a cousin’s daughter and two people who, for all I know, could be transients who were lured here by the sweet smell of BBQ cooking slowly in the smokers in the back yard.

The first person we run into is Steve. But, I didn’t know him at all. Steve doesn’t like to play the “I don’t remember you but I’m going to act like I do just because we’re probably family” game. He says “Hi I’m Steve, who are you?”

I think I like this approach. No reason to stare at each other searching our memories. We didn’t know each other and we were basically admitting it right there. The only thing is, just knowing his name is Steve didn’t do me much good. I thought about suggesting to him that he needs to refine this a bit. It would really have helped if he had said “Hi, I’m Steve, son of Willard, grandson of Ira and Rushia Bell, who are you?” Then I could have said “Hi, I’m Jay, son of Don and grandson of Lucreta and great-grandson of Ira and Rushia Bell, hello cousin!”

Instead I finally had to have mom tell me who the hell Steve was.

Next we run into someone I definitely should know, and it’s obvious that she definitely knows me. But, as usual I can’t for the life of me think of her name. Luckily for me though, Kell is in front of me going in the door. So I get to listen in to hear “Hi, I’m Margaret blah, blah, blah.”

I don’t hear anymore of the conversation because I immediately think to myself “RIGHT! Margaret! Anna May’s daughter. Just saw her a Uncle James’s funeral two years ago. Where she recognized me, while I couldn’t for the life of me remember her name and had to ask mom who the hell she was.”

Then after she says hello to Kell she then says hi to me and I say hello back and give her a hug as if I knew who she was all along.

I didn’t put out much effort trying to find out who some of the other people there were. They’re “extended” family and I won’t see them again until Nana Creta’s 100th birthday, so no need to bond with them. I did run see my step-sister there though. Actually, I think I should call her my “Former” step-sister since dad died eleven years ago and we don’t keep in touch. Of course, I walked right past my FORMER step-mother without even saying word. Mostly because I didn’t recognize her.

A few minutes later when I was getting lunch she walked through the kitchen and I said hello to her and exchanged pleasantries a bit. There’s really no reason to pretend though. She never liked me and I never liked her. Why pretend otherwise at this point?

So after grubbing on hot dogs and BBQ Beef sandwiches and deviled eggs and potato salad and whateverthehellthoseyummythingswere and some cake and maybe a cookie or too for desert, it was time for Nana Creta to open presents. Then I spent most of the afternoon going outside to hang out for a bit and then back inside, trying to mingle with the fam. Kell has always been much better at this than me.

Eventually I did what I always do. I made my way downstairs and took up position on one of the comfy chairs and watched football with Margaret, my cousin Travis and Uncle David. David, of course sat in his office chair in front of his computer. Apparently his fantasy football team does best with him right there to keep an eye on it.

Ever since I was a little kid this is where I always ended up. In whatever room the TV was with a ballgame on. It’s where I’m most comfortable and I also happen to have the distraction of the game to help cover up for my lack of social skills.

Al joined us too and we ended up staying down there until Kell showed up and let us know it was time to head on home. I think the only reason she decided it was time to go home was because we were the only ones left. Everyone else had already gone so it seemed like the thing for us to do too. But, to be honest with you, we could have stayed all evening and it wouldn’t have bothered anyone one bit.

Despite the fact that we live so close I only see my family once or twice a year. But, I bet you I could just hop in the car and head over there on any given Sunday and have lunch and hang out and watch football and it wouldn’t phase them one bit. That’s basically the kind of people they are.

Anyway, my fears of doom and despair didn’t pan out this time.

Not that I expect that kind of luck to continue. No reason to get cocky about that.