Half-time for WC2010 and Cup of Good Hop
So we're halfway. Thirty-matches and 32 COGH taste-offs down, and we've seen a lot of drama and shocks in both competitions. Argentina and Holland may be churning out victories on the pitch, but its a different story in the pitcher. Nigeria may have suffered at the hands of their group opponents in South Africa, but their beer has managed to capture hearts, minds and tastebuds. It's now time to blow the whistle for the second half - let's hope there's as many thrills, but no spills - as we try to find the world's best beer. Let's kick off now and see how the group stage concludes...
Funniest WC banner so far...Match 33:
Mexico 1
Jalapeno 16
Uruguay 1
Monty-Video 43 (pen)
'This is the Andy Dawson of international beers cos it was a late replacement,' says Deaks of Corona, probably wishing we were sampling Pacifico. 'Unlike Dawson there's no substance here.'
Dan has had enough of it too. 'One I’d only turn to after I’d reached my beer capacity for the night.' Stu says sniffily, 'It's training beer - like a training bra,' and James rounds off the critique with 'Not quite right - Smells wrong if left alone for five minutes.' However, we the wheels were also coming off the Uruguayan bandwagon. We generally liked the bottle and label better than the inoffensive yet slightly thin taste of Harvey's Blue Label. Essentially two beers we've kinda want to see the back of.
World Cup snippets'This is the Andy Dawson of international beers cos it was a late replacement,' says Deaks of Corona, probably wishing we were sampling Pacifico. 'Unlike Dawson there's no substance here.'
Dan has had enough of it too. 'One I’d only turn to after I’d reached my beer capacity for the night.' Stu says sniffily, 'It's training beer - like a training bra,' and James rounds off the critique with 'Not quite right - Smells wrong if left alone for five minutes.' However, we the wheels were also coming off the Uruguayan bandwagon. We generally liked the bottle and label better than the inoffensive yet slightly thin taste of Harvey's Blue Label. Essentially two beers we've kinda want to see the back of.
RIP Frank SidebottomChris Sievey, Aka Frank Sidebottom died yesterday after a short battle with cancer. The COGH team would like to extend their gratitude for all the football related laughs he brought us during his lifetime. His final song, Three Shirts On My Line is here. There's plenty more out there to investigate.
Match 34:
France 4
Merci-Beaucoup 31, 88, Cissy 36 (pen), Kronenbourg 71
South Africa 1
Botha 62
The revolving door of fate no longer turns for the hosts. They were simply outclassed by the French, and the result was never in doubt after persistent early pressure lead to a clear then increasing lead. 'I couldn't imagine doing a session on these,' says Deaks, looking like he never wants to drink Durban Pale Ale ever again. Every judge continued to take to the French. 'I shall say these only once, this is delicious,' says Peter in an 'Allo 'Allo accent. And so it was sedimentary that the host without the most beer would depart the stage early.
COGH Analysis: Mexico missed out on a place in the group of sixteen by a single goal and can count themselves incredibly unlucky. Uruguay are through instead - and join the Mighty France, who may have had a dreadful WC2010 but have shone like a glint in that gorgeous barmaid's eye in COGH. They will be feared by whoever finishes second in Group B. It looks incredibly likely that Uruguay will face Nigeria in the next round. South Africa have surrendered with barely a whimper - an exceedingly poor show for the host nation. So it's goodbye to Durban Pale Ale and Corona - and on reflection we have to say good riddance.
Final Group A Table
| P | W | D | L | F | A | GD | PTS | ||
| 1 | France | 3 | 3 | 0 | 0 | 11 | 4 | +7 | 9 |
| 2 | Uruguay | 3 | 1 | 1 | 1 | 5 | 5 | 0 | 4 |
| 3 | Mexico | 3 | 1 | 1 | 1 | 4 | 5 | -1 | 4 |
| 4 | South Africa | 2 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 2 | 8 | -6 | 0 |
Match 35:
Nigeria 4
Yobbo 31, Ohdear, 34, 85, Amataxi 50
South Korea 1
Pak Choi 38
'Full of flavour but could cause misbehaviour.' We should approach Guinness with this genius ad strapline coined by Deaks. In terms of flavour and depth there's very little in COGH to rival it. South Korea's OB is simply no match, and three visitations of it to our tastebuds is quite enough. 'Would be quite sickly after a few,' says Stu, pulling a dissatisfied face. 'The bubbles fade very quickly,' observes James, and Dan responds in song '...and like my dreams, they fade and die.' With that OB's chances of further progression in COGH.
Match 36:Greece 1
Taramasalata (pen) 42
Argentina 1
Labia 4
Dan considers Quilmes to be 'clean, crisp but lacking in depth. Ideal in Buenos Aires but not so desirable in BN1,' and Deaks more or less echoes these thoughts - 'nice label colours, watery - not much punch. Fresh but dull.' James is no more complimentary: 'It's more Notts County than Ruddles County, an afternoon of these would not hurt, but wouldn't inspire either.' Drinking Mythos is like sampling Quilmes' identical twin... 'drinkable, harmless, forgettable.' And with that we wave goodbye - without much regret - to the Greek entry.
Final Group B Table
| P | W | D | L | F | A | GD | PTS | |||||||
| 1 | Nigeria | 3 | 3 | 0 | 0 | 11 | 3 | 8 | 9 | |||||
| 2 | Argentina | 3 | 1 | 1 | 1 | 3 | 5 | -2 | 4 | |||||
| 3 | South Korea | 3 | 1 | 1 | 1 | 4 | 8 | -5 | 4 | |||||
| 4 | Greece | 3 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 2 | 6 | -4 | 1 | |||||
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COGH Analysis: In a remarkable reversal of fortune, the South Koreans have been turned over at the death by Argentina who squeak into the next round with a humble point. They owe the Nigerians a great debt, who put a fatal dent in OB's (Korea's) goal difference. Argentina v France would be a mouth-watering tie on the pitch, but will the beer equivalent match up?
