Rainy Night With the Orioles

Last week American Amalgamated Corrugated Conglomerates of American rewarded my hard work on the new amalgamating machine by giving me 2 tickets to the Orioles game. The truth is they offered the tickets to over 300 people prior to me and no one wanted them. But I ALWAYS take free tickets.

When I got home I asked my son in an overly excited manner, "Overconfidus, do you want to go to an Orioles' game with me?" Overconfidus responded, "Not really. They suck."

I was caught a bit off-guard. Technically he is correct. In fact, my son is 8 1/2 years old and they've NEVER had a winning season during his entire life. How do they expect to make fans out of today's youngsters if they NEVER win?

So what strategy could I use to get him to go to the game with me? "They're playing the Kansas City Royals!" "Oh, I love Kansas City! I'll go!" Ugh. I just lured him to going to the game to cheer for the other team. Are the Orioles truly that bad? Sadly - yes. Owner Peter Angelos has made this the worst team in baseball nearly 12 years running.

The day was rainy and I wasn't sure if they'd be playing. When we arrived all 35 fans waited under the upper deck to stay dry. We did find, however, Dick Hall, Larry Sheets, and Dave Boswell signing autographs. Anyone remember them? I remember Sheets. He was a good hitter and now owns that sports place up in Westminster. I know that Dick Hall was a pitcher. I hadn't heard of Dave Boswell, but acquainted myself with his statistics and background the next day on Wikipedia.

Dave Boswell:
Dick Hall:
Larry Sheets:

Finally game time arrived. All 200 fans rose for the National Anthem. I sat in row 19 in the lower section behind 3rd base. I think there were about 25 people sitting in the entire section. Unfortunately, 4 of them were right in front of me, 4 more were beside me, and 4 more were behind me. For real? All of this empty space and everyone is sitting right around me? I found it no different than being at a sellout back in the 1990's. Remember sellouts at Camden Yards? If you tell young people these days that there were sellouts at Camden Yards - well they won't believe you.

Matt Wieters up to bat:


The 4 guys behind me took it upon themselves to move up to one of the THOUSANDS of empty seats up close. You're not going to believe this - Peter Angelos made the ushers go down to those guys and make them go back to their seats. I kid you not. They were not happy. You'd think that if this game was televised you'd at least want to fill up the seats behind homeplate. Nope.Peter Angelos must want empty seats. Edward Bennett Williams must be screaming in his grave.

Here is a picture of the left-field side, probably about the 3rd inning.


The people in front of us were total clowns. It was 1 guy and 3 ladies. He must have been a salesman because the conversation was small and they seemed to have no interest in the game, let alone any knowledge of baseball - or sports in general. At one point the dude says, "How about that gulf oil spill? That has to be the worst natural disaster ever!" I shook my head in disgust. It's NOT a natural disaster. And he obviously has never read any history. Weren't there a couple of volcanoes (natural disasters) that removed several cities and villages from existance? He must be a product of Baltimore City Public Schools.

The game was fairly uneventful. The Orioles starting pitching did okay, the relief pitching sucked. The hitters mostly sucked. Then in the bottom of the 9th inning with runners on Miguel Tejada got out and the game was over. I guess you can't ask too much of a lying "former" steriod-using cheater. The euphemism in MLB for this kind of player is 'veteran'.

This was actually the big highlight of the game for me:


So the final paid attendance was about 6,000, but I think only about 1200 of them showed-up. I hope the same happens in the general election in the fall. With the liberals being apathetic and the conservatives rallying behind new change, we may actually make some progress in Maryland rather than new and shiny empty rhetoric.

Are You Going to the Preakness?

Are you going to the Preakness?

"Not I", said the college kids and recent graduates. "They won't let us bring our beer and have fun this year."

Are you going to the Preakness?

"Not I", said the family. "The Preakness is held in Pimlico, a dangerous neighborhood in Baltimore. We could be robbed, shot, stabbed, or have a car stolen. It's not safe there."

Are you going to the Preakness?

"Not I", said the owner of the small business. "Obama is raising the top tax bracket to 50%. After I pay my employees and buy supplies, there won't be anything left for me."

Are you going to the Preakness?

"Not I", said the struggling middle class family. "I'm out of a job. Obama spent billions of dollars on stimulus money for the economy, but it all went to government projects. I worked for a private corporation that received none of it and had to lay off 20% of its employees."

Are you going to the Preakness?

"Not I", said the casino owner. "Martin O'Malley passed a law allowing the state to seize the Preakness and all of its assets. I'd be a fool to invest in anything in Maryland. I'd risk losing all of my money."

Are you going to the Preakness?

"Not I", said Brian Roberts of the Baltimore Orioles. "We have to go lose another game in our quest to have 12 consecutive losing seasons."

Are you going to the Preakness?

"Not I", said Joe Flacco. "I only go into the city 8 times per year on game day. It's way too dangerous without a front line to protect me."

Are you going to the Preakness?

"We will", said the sportscasters. "This could be the last Preakness in the state of Maryland. With all of the shenanigans that the Maryland General Assembly is pulling, the horse owners would be smart to just race somewhere else next year and call that the second leg of the Triple Crown."

Are you going to the Preakness?

"We will", said the jockeys. "We want to be reminded one more time why we want to move this first class event from a third class venue. Churchill Downs is nice. Belmont is nice. Pimlico is dump. Why does Baltimore and Maryland not care about their race?"

Are you going to the Preakness?

"We will", said the thieves and robbers and murderers who were let go on probation or on technicalities by Baltimore's lenient criminal justice system. "The Preakness is an excellent time for us to steal some cars and rob some folks that ain't from these parts."

And so it will go. Smaller crowds will gather and the winnings will decrease. The people of Maryland will one day tell their grandchildren how once upon a time, the Preakness was held in Maryland, not California. But those children won't believe them.

Birthday List

My birthday is fast approaching and I wanted to give all of my loyal readers a chance to get a quick jump on my birthday presents. For your convenience, I am giving you a list of things that I would like for my birthday with a link to the gift:

ZZ Top keychain
Ferrari 308 GTS
6 String Banjo
Ford F-650 Excursion
5 gallons of gas
Nikon D3
The Baltimore Orioles (because I know that I can do a better job than that Angelos guy)
Martin O'Malley's resignation from politics
Mission Style Kitchen set (with 8 chairs)
Complete set of Magnum PI on DVD
Electric Hedge Trimmers
Athearn HO 4-6-6-4
Nikkor 600 mm AF-S f/4G ED VR lens
Van Halen to play at my birthday (they played for Jeff Spicoli after he saved Brooke Shields from drowning and received a huge reward)
1200 sq ft rear addition to my house

To assist everyone, after you have purchased something for my birthday, please leave a comment as to what you purchased. I don't want to be hassled with returning duplicates to the store.