Making Sweet Sweet Coffee Love

Okay, remember me bitching about how I can't drink coffee and being pissed that they ripped Postum from my cold, dead fingers?

I really didn't describe to you, in proper dramatic fashion (totally unlike me, huh?) what drinking actual coffee was like. If I had even a quarter cup of regular coffee, within ten minutes I started to vibrate - and NOT in the good way. It was a shaking in my chest that spread to my bones and then shot into my brain. I would then be in the throes of a mild panic attack that left me begging to unzip my skin and get the hell out of my body. This lasted for several hours until the self induced unnatural disaster had subsided. Decaf did the same thing. It was more mild but still unpleasant.

I felt so ripped off - like one of the many forbidden fruits of my previous religious life was still being withheld. Mature, I know. (Welcome to the emotional navigation of the Ex-Mo.) Plus, the taste & the smell of coffee - so yummy. Such a tease.

Then one day a few months ago...

[Cue: Trumpets and angelic choirs]

... I was having a conversation with my friend Sexy Jehiah (yes, that is his official name) about a coffee that he found that has, like, 6 times the anti-oxidants as regular coffee and is made from special beans that are only found in the caves of unicorns and are roasted by elves or something and that he had a friend that was just like me with coffee but that she can drink this one with no problem - blah, blah, blah...

I was feeling brave. He made me some and, behold, I did drink.

And... OH MY GOD IN HEAVEN I CAN DRINK COFFEE!!!

Not only that but I cannot tell you how amazing I feel all day long. The energy I have, even throughout the usual afternoon crash, and the clarity in my head are unbelievable. There is such a marked difference in how I feel - physically, mentally and emotionally - that if this coffee disappeared we would have a serious problem.

Remember how it feels to have a new crush? That moment you wake up in the morning and have the first thoughts of your beloved skip across your brain and you get all twitterpated and giggly remembering that they exist? THAT is exactly how I feel about this coffee when my alarm goes off at the crack of dawn. It is, without question, my new favorite thing.

So, a big public Thank You to the Gods of anti-oxidant miracle coffee and an even bigger Thank You to Sexy Jehiah for bringing me the sweet nectar that has made my world oh-so much better.

See, I told you he was sexy. And is, no doubt, as yummy as the coffee he gifted me with. I wonder if they make french presses big enough to fit grown men in. Probably not. Dammit.

Could you imagine? How awesome would it be to start the day with a cup of Johnny Depp? Talk about getting me through the winter...