I bought a magazine stand on Nov 6, 2009, in West Hollywood CA. It seemed like a good idea at the time. It might still prove to be. My friends keep asking me if it is an art piece or not. Why so binary? It is both an art piece and not an art piece.
Just the facts:
Number of days in business: 123
Most Popular Magazines - Dwell, British Vogue, World of Interiors, Elle Decor, Us Weekly
Least Popular Magazines: Buddhism Today, Thoroughbred Owner & Breeder
Most popular cigarette - Marlboro Lights
Second Most popular cigarette - Parliament Lights
Least Popular cigarette - Lucky Strike, which bums me out because I think they are cool and had high hopes for them
Highest price magazine: Fashion Collection Tokyo/Spain ($99.95)
Lowest price magazine: Gay Parent ($2.00)
Highest amount received in a single purchase: $455.14
Lowest amount received in a single purchase: $0.50
Number of times I've gotten laid as a direct result of newsstand ownership - 3
Number of bonafide celebrity customers - 4
Number of rinky-dink celebrity customers - 8
Most famous person to have used my ATM: Dave Navarro
Amount of money expended thus far: $33,325.23
Amount of money I have personally received in 4 months of business ownership - $0.00
Number of lawyers I've had to contact - 2
Number of jarhead contractors I've come to know: 2
Car accidents on La Cienega I have personally witnessed - 2
Most absurd request - "Can I just buy the Metro section of the newspaper?" (Answer: No)
Number of times I've had to call the LA Times to ask to sell their newspaper for them - 9
Percentage of days that I actually get the LA Times - 50%
Number of parking tickets I received - 3
Number of parking tickets paid - 0
Number of times I've been offered a chance to be in Architectural Digest Germany - 1
Hours worked - Approx 1107
Gallons of paint applied - 2.5
Feet of wallpaper installed - 220
Number of titles available - 611
Number of Cigarette brands available: 22
Number of cigarettes I have personally smoked out of utter dismay - 4
Percentage increase of the total number of cigarettes I have smoke my entire life - 100%
Attempting a moment of peace
Number of times one customer openly insulted another customer, to their face - 1
Number of times I have locked myself out of my own news stand - 2
Amount I paid for a guy to come out and cut through my lock: $85
Days it took for my brand new awning to get tagged: 13
Number of track lights stolen, so far: 6
Percent of days I wake up and wish I were dead: 60% (but that is pretty steady from pre-newsstand ownership, to be fair)
Percentage of the time the UPS guy calls me "Big Dog": 100%
Number of new friends I have made (including the UPS guy): 5
So I like to have events. Author readings, open mic poetry nights, performance art. I'm open. Here's some stuff from the past three months:
Jason Kaplan reads from his book, Things That Suck:
Distinguished Local David Ehrenstein with Jason Kaplan
Eugene S. Robinson prepares for his reading on Feb 20, 2010
And meets his public after.
People come to Sherwood to buy magazines in which they are cover models.
And we never judge our customer's choices of publication.
Sometimes people just come to hang out and enjoy the relaxed, outdoor atmosphere.
We encourage our customers to dress casually.
But at night, we like the drama.
Revolutions are sparked. (Jason Flores-Williams reads)
And sometimes unexplained things happen.
The guy on top was just walking by. LA really is the dream factory.
So please, come by sometime and save me from myself. And maybe get to be the top of a human pyramid.
Sherwood Magazines
745 N La Cienega Blvd
West Hollywood, CA
shermags.com
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p.s. Hey. The artist Brendan Lott and his identical twin the d.l. Blendin give you an introductory walkthrough of Sherwood Magazines, which, in addition to its double status as LA's coolest periodical outlet and most subversive work of public sculpture, is also the official newsstand of DC's. So, learn its ropes and see where a batch of d.l.s and myself were standing not two days ago. Thanks, B/B, and thanks to all of you for your eyesight. I'm off to San Francisco by car today with Mark Gluth, wife Erin, and James Greer for the City Lights reading tonight (see: jpeg). Maybe I'll see a few of you there. I'm not taking my laptop, so there'll be no new post or p.s. until Thursday, when everything will return to normal. The Book Soup reading last night went pretty well, I think. Pix forthcoming. Good crowd, excellent shows by Gluth and Greer. I read an interview I conducted with Keanu Reeves in 1990. My nephew Cody played Keanu. We were blown away that d.l.s You-x and KYTE drove all the way from Fresno just to attend. So it was all good. At 4 am this morning, we had an earthquake here in LA, as you may or may not have heard. Nothing major, but it woke me up and shook the apartment pretty good. Well, I need to get myself ready for the trip north, but you guys have a very fine Tuesday and Wednesday, and I'll catch up with you and yours come Thursday. Later.
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