I Believe that we are souls that have come to this planet to learn by experience. I personally am a soul that eats that up. I love experience – even when I hate it. I love to experience things in order to learn. In fact, I obviously love it so much that I choose to experience the same freaking things over and over and over so that I can learn the same freaking things over and over and over. Most often this is done in the very hardest way possible. It’s awesome.
Last fall I wrote about this huge “Ah-ha!” I’d had about how I could no longer spend my life marching at the front of someone else’s parade. How my internal scales had been tipped in the wrong direction for far too long. How I could no longer fill my heart with so much passion for gay men that there was no room for the love of a wonderful straight man. And I wrote all about how I was done. And then last week I was mistaken for a drag queen and lovingly reminded that I am, in all actuality, an “honorary homo.”
Glad to see I’ve made such progress.
Note: I do not take offense to those comments in the least. I have said for years that the only explanation for me is that in my last life I was a chain smoking gay man. (I want to be a smoker soooo bad, but that is another topic for another post.) I AM an honorary homo and have always worn that title like a badge of honor. But last week I was given another 2X4 upside the head. Not because I was mistaken for a man but because of a comment left by a close friend on my I Am Now A Big Drag Queen post.
“Dear Lord Emily. This has gone far enough. You have got to retire the baton. Is there some sort of straight man testosterone festival we can send you to? I'm trying to think of a place where lots of available straight men are gathered together and the only thing that comes to mind is a prison. Hmmm, I'll keep working on that...”
All I can say in response is… I know. And it is most definitely time for an intervention. Time to find that glorious straight man testosterone festival of which you speak. Prison? Umm… I’m thinking not so much. But feel free to hog tie and drop me at the nearest firehouse, bowling alley, monster truck rally, Hunting Expo, Nascar-whatever-thingie… you can find.
The scales of my personal life are not quite as tipped as this blog would suggest. I date a lot of straight men - I just learned long ago not to blog about my relationships / love life. I am currently single and love, love, LOVE the straight men. But, if I am being totally honest – and apparently I am – I do use my spot near the head of the Gay Parade to hide from dealing with straight man drama as often as I possibly can. [Sigh.] And I march out of habit.
I just need to get off the damn street for a while because the problem with being an honorary homo is that, unlike the all real homos, I am there pretty much alone. I need to create my own parade. It will definitely have a Homo Float but it will come after the Sexy Straight Man Salute. I will always be passionate and will always care but I guess I need to get my ass out of the gay bars for a while.
And, as for this blog, I hereby commit to balancing it with a million other topics and at least one post about straight men for every post I write about the gay ones.
Geez, and I thought quitting midgets was going to be hard…
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Related Posts:
Letting It Go
Memo From A Fairy Princess.
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