Now It's Luke Wilson Naked Time ...

Holy crap people. To hell with all that “Megan Fox Naked” and “Miley Cyrus Naked” and even “Sarah Palin Naked” stuff.  I think I’ve figured out the ultimate cheap stunt to get lots of extra page views.  I discovered, to my absolute horror surprise yesterday, that lots of women find Luke Freakin’ Wilson hot.



So, you know what that means? That means we have to talk about Luke Wilson Naked! 

See, I had no idea he was hot. 


He doesn’t do a thing for me, but hey, if you guys and gals think he’s hot, then maybe I’m the one who’s wrong?  




So anyway, I thought I would give the people what they want.  Luke Wilson Naked.  Or maybe just Luke Wilson.  I’m sure that’s enough, right?

I also found it interesting that the fact that Luke Wilson is obviously not too bright because he doesn’t know the capital of Peru isn’t important to women.  I thought women were all about men being smart and sensitive and all that shit.  Obviously this was a lie and obviously I fell for it.   That’s why all the women ignore me most of the time.  All they want is eye candy. 

That’s all us men are to you ladies.  Just a big hunk of meat.  You don’t love us for our minds at all.  And all that stuff about how important sense of humor and personality and whatever was just bullshit.  I’m so hurt.  I feel like such a fool. 

All the time I spent learning my state and world capitals, vice presidents, bodies of water and potent potables was just wasted.  ALL OF IT FOR NOTHING!

Except maybe the potent potables.  Those come in handy.  But all the rest of it is not useless.  My dream of being in a bar and reeling off answers on Jeopardy and impressing the hell out of some babe has been crushed.  It turns out I should have been spending that time doing other things.  Like maybe gravy training a more talented sibling into some sort of celebrity status.  Or maybe in the gym working out.  Anything but expanding my knowledge of useless impressive facts and information. 

This has been a pretty difficult day for me.  I’m going to have to go have some Gentleman Jack and try to figure out where I went wrong.