College Kids Like to Have Sex ...

So another sex scandal has exploded on the campus of the University of Arkansas. A couple of basketball players were accused of rape or sexual misconduct by a freshman female who claims they forced her to perform sex acts against her will at a frat party. But, the players will not be facing charges because police interviewed everyone at the party and couldn't find anyone to corroborate the girl's story. In fact, the witnesses down right contradicted her story.

A couple of the frat members said that the girl was performing oral sex on one guy while giving at least one other guy a hand job. They said that when they discovered this, they asked the athletes and the girl to leave. According to witnesses, as they were leaving, the girl turned to them and said "We weren't doing anything wrong."

The girl claims that she was intoxicated past the point of being able to give consent. Now, I don't know if she was or wasn't, but if she was coordinated enough to perform a blog job AND jerk another guy off at the same time, how far gone could she have been. She also was able to leave the house without any assistance.

But, like I said. I don't really know how drunk she was. Nor do I know anything other than what I've read in the papers or that the DA's office has said. And, neither do all the people who are swarming the message boards, talk radio and letters to the editor sections of the newspapers. Of course, those people are all sure they know exactly what happened.

But, I do know this: College kids have sex. College athletes have more sex than the rest of the students. When I was in college this type of activity was commonplace. All of the people pretending that this type of behavior is unheard of are full of it. Back in the day, there just wasn’t an internet for anyone to post their cell phone pics and videos to. Hell, there weren’t even any cell phones. Or digital cameras.

Of course, it was never me who engaged in this activity. Oh not because I wasn’t trying. I just never got invited. Even if I begged.

I’m not kidding. Not only did I totally miss out on these good times, I usually never knew about them until after the fact. I would be at breakfast on Sunday morning and people would be talking about the girl who got up on the ping-pong table we had down in the basement and danced in her skivvies for everyone. She did that about 10 mins after I left. Bitch.

Another time I had been at a frat party and wondered where everyone was as the crowds seemed to have thinned out so much. Then a few minutes later everyone seemed to return. Turned out they were all upstairs watching a foursome getting busy in the showers. I missed the whole thing.

Oh and then there was the time that I missed the absolutely hottest girl I had ever met up until that point in my life do a striptease in which she got completely butt naked for everyone because I was busy talking to another girl who ended up leaving with a football player. From what I was told the girl who did the stripping was an amazing dancer even did a little masturbation show for everyone. Why am I always the one to miss out?

Another time I was sitting around talking to two other dudes, and we were discussing this really hot chick who we all had a class with. They both talked about how if you wanted to have sex with her, all you had to do was ask. I told them that wasn’t true. I knew for a fact that she was capable of saying “no” to at least one person. Me. The girl’s standards might have been low, but not low enough. FML

And then there was the time when I was living in Springfield, Mo. A neighbor, who I called Mr. Peepers because he was the complex’s one man neighborhood watch program, asked me if I saw all the fun the night before. Of course I hadn’t. Turns out the young lady who lived in the apartment across from me was hooking out of that apartment. I was shocked. Seriously, I had talked to her a couple of times. She certainly never let me know that she was available for a price! This is getting down right embarrassing.

So, when I see stories like this one, no matter how it plays out, it makes me kind of bitter about the near misses and could have beens of my life. Actually, there are several more of these that I could list, but I don’t want this post to be too long. Or embarrass myself any further. But, I will say that every time something like this happens there is someone who will say “Well, if nothing else these guys and that girl were stupid for putting themselves in that situation!” and I’ll say “That’s right! I never did anything like this to risk getting into that kind of trouble.”

Which is true. I just kind of leave out there part where I tried and tried and tried but never got the chance.