in a new york city public park about to fall off the wagon...

i can feel the world vibrating off its core as it shows me how simultaneously alive and dead it isthe tree in front of me is so still, its branches are like the arms of a statue. each little leaf however is trembling wildly, achey shakey breaky.my outsides are frozen but my insides are jumping...i know that one will take care of the other--if i break this self-imposed paralysis one step after